Welcome to the March 2022 IWSG.
Alex's awesome co-hosts for the March 2 posting of the IWSG are Janet Alcorn, Pat Garcia, Natalie Aguirre, and Shannon Lawrence!
Like me, you're probably wondering where those first two months disappeared to. I've spent most of the time in my writing chair. How about you?
So my state has been/still is, being inundated with floods. Had 80% of our annual rainfall in a few days, causing devastation to a large swathe of South-East Queensland. Luckily I live on a hill and was never in any danger, but my heart goes out to those who have lost everything.
A lot going on in the world with disasters hitting many countries. Now we have war in Ukraine. Shocking to think of the suffering that war brings. Let's hope for a speedy solution with a minimum of bloodshed. I have a writer friend who has lost the will to write because of this turmoil, while others feel even more determined to write. Our winning WEP entry in February is about war - not in Ukraine - but a past war. It struck a chord with all at WEP and our judge Nick Wilford gave it the winner's gong. Congratulations to Sally Stackhouse who always writes pieces that speak to our emotions. Click HERE to read her heartfelt story.
Now there is a March 2 question - Have you ever been conflicted about writing a story or adding a scene to a story? How did you decide to write it or not?
Let's just say that like a film editor, my floor is littered
with discarded story ideas and scenes that either didn't work or I felt were
too controversial. I've seen some authors include discarded chapters and scenes
at the end of a story or offer it for free as a reader magnet for their newsletter. I'm thinking that's a good idea. I love some of the
chapters/scenes I've cut and that would be a good way to put them to good
use.
For example, this is my original opening scene to Betrayed, the first in my vampire series which is undergoing a full re-write, new cover, new blurb:
OLD CHAPTER ONE
Florence, capital of Tuscany, 1610.
I |
t was easy to lose your head under the rule of Grand Duke Cosimo II de’
Medici in the year of our Lord 1610. Whether noble, craftsman, brigand or
mercenary, an accusation of treason could result in decapitation. Well aware,
Duke Vipunin de Castellina knew he must tread carefully to ensure his head
remained firmly upon his shoulders.
He had
much to look forward to, but it depended on the success of his journey tomorrow
– finally taking up his inheritance at Castello de Castellina in Chianti and announcing
his betrothal to Lady Ciassia de Fioravanti, daughter of the Marquis Fioravanti of
Florence. He’d loved her these many years, and she loved him in return. His
military duties to the de’ Medici had prevented their nuptials, but now the
time approached when they could wed. It would be the most joyful thing when
they became man and wife. They would live together in his castle, raise children,
guarantee the Castellina line.
But the
imminent beheading of one of his noble friends was foremost in his mind when at
twilight a messenger hammered loudly at his palazzo gate in via del Canneto by the
River Arno. The rider handed him a document sealed with the ubiquitous red
crest, still warm, summoning him to an audience at Palazzo Medici. A quiver of
trepidation passed through him, along with vexation at yet another last-minute
command from his brother in all but blood. Each time he planned his return to Castellina,
Cosimo found a reason for him to delay. Why had his friend interrupted
his preparations for his journey yet again? Had he found yet another reason
to forbid Vipunin to leave Florence?
Directly following a PREQUEL about Premonitions which play a large part in this story, this is a snippet of my new opening chapter:
NEW CHAPTER ONE
Florence, capital of Tuscany, 1610.
I |
n the pre-dawn darkness, Duke
Vipunin de Castellina hurried down the stone steps of his villa in via del Canneto by the River Arno.
With each footfall, his head pounded in time to the beat of his heart. He
rubbed his temples, relived the visions he’d seen throughout
the night – shrieking
vampires attacking with swords as he and his men battled their way through the Tuscan
Forest.
Blood. Decapitated heads.
But whose blood? Whose heads?
***************
If you took the time to read both, which do you prefer? I think it's a no brainer, but I could be wrong.
*****************
Very soon, the winners will be announced for the February challenge, All You Need Is Love. Just a head's up, the WEP team aren't eligible for prizes. Not to take away anything from the winners, but just check out the wondrous post from team member, L.G. Keltner. So psst, here I'll tell you. We have Sally Stackhouse as the outright winner, and here is second and third.
36 comments:
The second one is perfect! Grips faster.
Sorry to hear the floods were so bad. Doe that usually happen every fall?
Hi Denise - I'll be over to congratulate the WEP winners ...
Glad you're safe - but it's a LOT of rain - my heart goes out to so many at the moment.
I too prefer the second instalment - sharp and enticing.
All the best - Hilary
Glad you live on a hill. I definitely like your rewrite better. It totally drew me into your story.
The second one got right to the tension.
I'm sorry, Ukraine has so dominated our news I hadn't heard about your flooding.
Those floods are horrific! I'm glad you live on a hill. Stay safe.
I loved Sally's take too. Just visited all the winners.
Good to know you are safe Denise. Floods can be devastating. They always are in India.
I enjoyed both your pieces, the second one is certainly one up.
-Sonia
I've never added a cut section as a bonus, but I have re-used old scenes/materials in new work. Usually if it's something really cool or funny that just didn't work in its original home.
Yes, I can see how the new take is much better - it puts us straight into the action rather than backstory. I want to read on!
The war is maddening. We have enough natural disasters causing devastation without adding manmade ones into the mix - although we are probably also exacerbating those natural events via climate change. I hope it can be defused quickly.
The first was good, but the second was visceral. Nice way to illustrate your point. :)
I really like the second version--it's tight and pulls me into the story immediately.
So glad you're safe from the floods.
The world is most certainly in chaos, and as far as I can tell, there's little change for the better in sight. And I'm not a pessimist by nature. Congratulations to Sally Stackhouse on her WEP win!
Floods are scary. We had floods last fall in BC which wiped out all the roads east, to the rest of Canada. To the point where food delivery was disrupted for the entire province. I think they are still fixing some of those roads. I'm glad you're OK.
The new scene is definitely better. Excellent re-write!
So glad you are safe. My sister is in Victoria. We spent a lot of time Facetiming about the floods and the war. Wishing you the best.
Thanks Liza. I'm sure your sister was encouraged by talking to you. War and floods. Urk.
Yes Olga, floods are scary, but in Australia we are old enemies. Happens most years in summer. Makes a mess of roads and bridges.
Thanks for voting on my story.
I agree. I don't see things changing for the better.
Thanks Janet for your vote and your concern.
Thanks for your vote, Helen.
It's actually just out of summer here, Alex, which is when we get floods.
Thanks for the vote.
Thanks Hilary. Thanks for the vote.
Thanks for the vote Natalie.
Yes, our news is only about our flooding and Ukraine.
Thanks for voting.
Thanks Jemi.
Thank you Sonia. And thanks for the vote.
Yeah, it's hard to know what has to be cut because it doesn't fit your "brand" or fit the story or whatever.
And hard times like these can fuel or fizzle a creative mind.
Hope you're having a great day! My latest blog post has my theme for the April #AtoZChallenge (I'm writing speculative fiction and looking for prompts).
At Operation Awesome we have the #PassOrPages query contest going on (friends or enemies to lovers Romance).
Looks like I'll be very busy the next few weeks!
March quote: "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." - Mark Twain
I think it's a great idea. I try not to waste too much.
JLenni, you sound busy too. Love the quote at the end.
I'm glad you're up on a hill and safe from floods. My heart goes out to those affected by the floods and the war. I like the idea of offering the axed versions as a bonus chapter.
The second one is better. Lots of drama there.
Happy IWSG day.
So sorry to hear about the floods. Glad you're safe. Regarding the 2 first chapters: definitely the 2nd. It grabs the reader immediately and thrusts us into the action.
Thanks for your vote, Diane.
Thanks for voting, Kalpana.
Thanks for your vote Nick. Yes we certainly don't need a war to add to the natural disasters we're experiencing.
The second. ;)
I'm glad you're safe, but so sorry about the devastation around you.
Thanks Holly!
Yup, staying crazy busy. Doing vacation in May.
I'm doing the #AtoZChallenge - writing a speculative fiction short story.
On the main A to Z site today for "B" I shared a list of books. Check it out!
At Operation Awesome we're doing the A to Z Challenge and running a survey to pick the next Pass or Pages query contest genre.
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