Sunday 15 July 2012

Knights of MicroFiction - 'City of the Dark Gods'.

My story has just been named joint winner! 



This month I've joined the blogfest, the Knights of Micro Fiction challenge hosted by Kathy and Jess McKendry   Knights of MicroFiction
You have to post on your blog sometime on the 15th of the month, then add your link to the comments on the prompt post. A couple of days before, Kathy will post the new prompt on her blog. 
This month's prompt is:
In 200 words or less write a flash fiction using the phrase:  The sky darkened...
then for an added challenge include a sound that surprises one of your characters and a foul smell.
As I've been studying up on fantasy writing for a group project with my Writer's Group, I immediately thought of having a go at a little bit of magic.
HERE IS MY SUBMISSION:



The City of the Dark Gods



The sky darkened as Prince Ysandir and his knight Gareth entered the City of the Dark Gods. Only blackness remained beyond the North Gate. The desert sand had disappeared; inside the City the streets were paved in black. The horses hooves made a dull frightening crack with every step closer to the Temple.

Then the smell hit them.

The heads of the dead were dangling from the alien buildings, a ghoulish touch to the beautiful and intricately carved timbers. Amongst them was the wizened head of the Princes father, King Naxan.

My father has given his life for our people. We will not fail.

No, my Lord. Your father lacked magic. Our magic will defeat these Dark Ones.

Their horseshooves were silent. The Temple loomed before them.

Prince Ysandir? You would enter our sacred domain?

From a balcony carved from glassy stone, a black figure stood, finger pointing at the young men.

Aye, demon, we enter to vanquish you and your Dark Ones.

Come then, Prince. Your mortal weapons will not touch us.

Gareth and the Prince dismounted and clasped strong hands. The magic flowed strong between them.

Mortal weapons, demon?

Holding hands, they entered the Temple.

©DeniseCovey2012

WORD COUNT - 200

Image - colorbox.com


  •  I hope you liked my first attempt at fantasy writing. 



31 comments:

C.S.H said...

I do!! Love it that is!! This was so amazing.. and me being the geek that I am couldn't help but to use my best gothic french/whatever you call it kinda voice as I was reading it!! I've never wrote any fantasy either.. except for the three little hobbits! HAHA! Great Post!!

Denise Covey said...

Thanks Crystal for being so quick with your comment. At least someone likes it. It's always scary trying your hand at a new genre, but I had such fun. D.

erica and christy said...

I've been going crazy about setting lately, and I love how you set the scene. I think your first stab at fantasy was a success! I love the pic at the top of your blog too! christy

Roland D. Yeomans said...

You were great at setting the scene, Denise. Another blogfest, huh? You are certainly a Super Trooper.

Charmaine Clancy said...

Gorgeous writing Denise, you'll do well in our group challenge. I do like how the two heroic blokes have to hold hands to kickstart their magic :)

Sally said...

It was certainly surprising having two males holding hands to kick start the magic - do they have to keep holding hands to continue the magic?

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I like that! A mixture of several genres.

Ashna said...

It's beautiful! The setting and the magic, I like it so much!
It's certainly fun attempting new stuff. :)

Jess said...

Oooh I love it! This is really your first shot at fantasy? It's so good! Great job and thanks for participating!

kjmckendry said...

I want to know what happens next! I think you should write more fantasy! It seemed so natural.
Thanks so much for participating. :)

MunirGhiasuddin said...

I generally do not read too many books that of Fantasy genre, but if interesting I like to read. I would like you to check out Michael Offutt's blog. He just had a Science Fiction book published.

Denise Covey said...

Thanks Erica and Christy. I took the picture here in Fiji while on vacation. D.

Ann said...

I can't recall ever reading a fantasy novel, I'm more of a mystery buff, but I did enjoy your writing.
Thank you also for visiting my blog. It's always a pleasure to see someone new pop in. I hope to see more of you in the future

Elen Lackner-Poemas de amor. - Piano said...

Dear Denise : Thank you very much for your message about me in Andy´s blog. I came to visit you and I was really admiring everything you wrote. I want to say you that my English is poor, but i like this lenguage, so I am prooving to understand your writings. I greet you from Argentina. Elen Lackner

Denise Covey said...

Thank you Elen. It is an honour to have you reading/replying in English. This will help you improve. D.

Denise Covey said...

I hope so too Ann. D

Denise Covey said...

Thanks for visiting Munir. I know Michael. Great of you to give him a shout out. D.

Denise Covey said...

I think I will keep at it. D.

Denise Covey said...

Sure they do. I didn't think that particular trick had been written in before, but you never know. D.

Lynda R Young as Elle Cardy said...

I'm an avid reader of fantasy, but I think I would've loved your piece even if I wasn't.

Love your new blog header too!!!

Denise Covey said...

Thank you on both counts Lynda. D.

Nick Wilford said...

Excellent! Very portentous. I'd love to know more about the story. It almost reads as an excerpt. :)

Denise Covey said...

Thank you Nick. It is,I guess. I'll have to continue...D

kjmckendry said...

I'm stopping back to let you know, you were chosen as one of our winners! Congratulations! I'll be sending you an email with details. :)

Ashna said...

Congratulations on winning! :D

Anonymous said...

I'm serious, Sis, when I say that everything you write is so good! You just get better and better. Foul stench! Yeah, dead heads. Reminds me of a book I'm reading, having been invited to read it by something called Blue Dot Literary. Anyway, a free book, a medical thriller called Dead Ringer. End of first chapter: the neurosurgeon pulls back the sheet on the cadaver--and it's his friend he just talked to two days earlier! Your dead heads dangling from the alien building thus struck me!!

What also struck me is your stunning new header photo, of what else--Fiji. I can only imagine the amazing experiences you're having there....

((( hugs ))) from me and Jen

Denise Covey said...

Thanks Ann, I'm working hard on my writing, breaking out of my comfort zone. Dead Ringer sounds good! What a shock!
Yeah, I love my sunset snap. Just perfect timing.

(((hugs)))

The Poet said...

My beautiful Denise,
Your talent shines through with anything you write. One must have a very creative mind to pen such an interesting fantasy. As a reader, I wanted more...but was very happy with the ending. Love and prayers are always more beautiful than violence...

Denise Covey said...

So true Andy. May love win. :D

Denise Covey said...

Oh how exciting. Congrats to you too Ashna. :D

V. Gingerich said...

Like someone already said, you set the scene with grisly skill. Reminded me of Vlad Tepes (Vlad the Impaler), the inspiration behind Bram Stoker's Dracula, who let impaled Turks do his talking.