Show me yours blogfest. My NaNo excerpt. Death on Nantucket.

Thanks to Sarah, Hannah and Summer for hosting this blogfest, where we share a tweaked scene from our NaNo 2010 novel.  I am sharing a scene just before the climax of the novel. Shakira, the MC, has been assaulted early in the story by an unknown assailant. In this scene towards the end of the novel, things are beginning to unravel...WARNING: A little bit of language here may offend...

She stopped the car. Where was she? She had no idea really. She’d been crying so hard she'd hardly been able to see. At least she'd had enough sense to pull over.

She got out of the car and looked around. She was near Ronaldo’s cottage. She felt cold and scared. What was wrong with her? What had drawn her back?

She looked towards the ocean. It always comforted her to see the water. It was so dark now she could only see the white of the froth in the moon’s glow.

A chilly breeze made her wish she’d brought a sweater but she’d been in such a hurry to get to Byron, a sweater had been the last thing on her mind.


She looked up the gravel road. She was on the road to Ronaldo Gonzalez’s place.


‘What you doin’ here?’
Shakira jumped. Turned around.
Ronaldo’s hulk stood on the other side of her car. He leaned against the bonnet, hands on hips, staring hard.
‘I…I was just driving. Got lost,’ she explained, edging closer to the driver’s door, fear making her voice reedy.
Ronaldo edged to the front of the car, not touching anything.


No evidence, she thought, a slow, creepy chill spreading up her spine.


She reached the driver’s door at the same time as Ronaldo.


His hand gripped hers.


It hurt, even through his big leather glove.


No fingerprints. No evidence. Stay with it Shakira.


‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he snarled.
‘I’ve got to get home. Someone’s waiting for me.’ Shakira tried to sound confident.
‘Liar.’
‘I...I…’
‘Don’t worry. We all lie. Like you lied when you came to test my bees.’
‘How did I lie?’
‘You made out you didn’t know me, were meeting me for the first time.’
‘I was.’
‘Liar!’ he hissed.
‘What do you mean?’ Hedge.
‘You’ve met me before. We both know it. We were close.’


She held her tongue as a faintness crept over her.


‘It was great. Wasn’t it?’


She was silent, her tongue stiff in her mouth.


He yelled into her face. ‘Answer me! It was great, wasn’t it?’


Her head snapped back. ‘Why me? Why did you choose me?


Ronaldo snickered.


‘You are special. I always choose special. I watched you move into your cute little house. Mommy and Daddy’s house. All pretty gray and white, just like a good Nantucket house should be. And I looked at you, all pretty and white, just like a good girl should be. I fixed that, didn’t I?’


‘What did I ever do to you?’


‘Not you so much, little girly, it’s those parents of yours. I’ve seen ‘em comin’ onto the island for years ‘n’ years. I’ve seen ‘em around town. Big time Senator and his good wifey.’


‘What did they ever do to you?’


‘What did they never do to me, you mean? They didn’t know I was alive, that’s what. Always callin' me to their pretty home to remove bee swarms. Too good for me weren’t they? Threw some money at me like I’d just crawled out from under some rock. I don’t like to be treated like garbage.’


He stepped closer until the length of his body was against hers. She tried not to tremble. She concentrated on working her fingers back to the door handle.

‘I got them back, though, didn’t I?’ he yelled into her face, spraying her with spittle. ‘Fucked up their pretty little fairy daughter didn’t I? Hey, but she’s tougher than I thought, isn’t she? Tried to kill her but the little fairy wouldn’t die would she?’ He gave her a long considering look, dropping his voice an octave. ‘I gotta finish what I start. I don’t mess up.’ He grabbed her arms and tossed her close to the edge of the cliff like she was feather-light. She hadn’t anticipated his move, so she fell hard.

Shakira yelped with the pain in her hip where she’d hit the gravel. Her head was right over the edge of the cliff. She could hear the waves crashing onto the rocks below. She was looking at her death.

END OF SCENE
 
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