Halloween House of Horrors - Is there love beyond the grave?

My entry for the RomanticFridayWriters Halloween House of Horrors is taken from Chapter Three of my WIP, a 16,000 word ghost story novella, Paradise Can Wait, set in Afghanistan and the US in 2009. The protagonist, Delbar, has lost her husband Alam in the ongoing war against the Taliban. She has escaped her country, but can she escape the dead? 

As I am seeking publication for this story, I would appreciate all feedback.

***

Trick or Treat?

The flames of the fire flickered and died. The room plunged into darkness. The chandelier's crystal droplets clinked against the draft that crept into the room like a stealthy ghost. Trees moaned against the walls, a lament of damned souls.

A white flare fizzed through the room.

Delbar leaped from her chair in front of the fire. Rough hands clamped her mouth. Her arms wrenched behind her. She was thrown onto the couch where she lay on her back, juddering with terror.

Damp enveloped her in a watery cloak. What is this? Water boarding?  My hiding place discovered so soon? 

She struggled to see her assailant through the dark shadows…she saw no one…then…a kaleidoscope of color swirled at the top of the staircase. It spilled onto the stairs like molten metal tipped from a cauldron. Colored shadows glinted as the liquid dripped downwards, then puddled at the bottom of the stairs.

“Mmmh...mmmh…ughh...” Delbar fought against the invisible hand that pressed her lips together. Water continued to drip. Blinking through the damp, she stared at the man who arose fully formed from the puddle–face…limbs…body…hair…clothes. The garments were bright white as if lit from within–baggy trousers, tunic, turban.

“Yaa Ilaahee!”*

Delbar struggled against the invisible ropes. She jerked from side to side, moaning. Abruptly the binds loosed, the dripping stopped and she could speak.

“Al…am? Is…you..?” Water dribbled from her mouth. She brushed her hand across her face. “No. You are dead! You died in the mountains! The Taliban killed you… I’m dreaming…why was my mouth stopped and my arms tied…why did water nearly drown me? Why..? Why..?”

He stepped forwards, knees high, like he waded to shore from a turbulent ocean. He stopped a few meters from her. Delbar smelt rosewater and spices, the strong scents of her homeland. Hair escaped from under his turban, long and lustrous. The gray streaks in his beard had gone as had the scars on his hands from that hideous time when he’d been imprisoned and tortured during the Mujahedeen wars.

“So you could feel me die.”

‘That was cruel…I feared…for my life.” She reached for the rug that had fallen from her shoulders, dabbed her mouth then hugged the soft wool to her chest and sobbed.

 “But you live. I’ve been waiting. So long. You’re here. I need you to trust this.” He pointed to his body. “See me. Your Alam?”

She turned away.

“Delbar...Delbar…Delbar…”

She spoke to the room. “I’m dreaming, I know. What I see isn’t real. My husband is dead. He’s in Paradise. A demon uses a husband’s body to trick a wife.”

“Delbar. It is me. Look. This is no dream. I drowned. The portal opened, the angels came. I turned back. I was to enter the Door, but I answered, no, I’m not ready for Paradise.”

“Daabí Ashkun!”**  She clamped her hands over her ears.

“My Paradise is being with you.”

“No. Jannah awaits you. If it is indeed you? My Alam would obey the angels. Go to your reward.” She pointed to the door.

“My reward is to be with you.”

“No. Jannah awaits the righteous.”

“The things I’ve done were not righteous. I’ve no business in Paradise with killers of women and children. Scoundrels like me deserve to wander the earth, hungry, never satisfied.”

“A soldier under orders obeys orders. You tried to ease the suffering of the Afghani people. Go to your blissful, happy life.”

“My blissful, happy life is here. In my new body. You need me…”

“I need Alam, but not this way. Continue your journey.”

“My journey ends here.”

“No. Leave. This is a trick. Go back to the portal if you are man, not demon.”

He dropped to his knees as if shot. “Let me stay. One night?”

Dreamy sensations flowed through her as she floated into a fantastical world. He has cast some spell over me. A spell that holds me entranced. Her heart cried out for Alam. A tidal wave of power suffused her–where before she was weak, now she was strong–where before she had mourned, now her heart danced.

Alam is here!

He saw her thoughts.

He reached down, tore the rug from her hands. He stroked her shoulder, testing her–chilly hands, icy fingers. He sat on the edge of the couch. Embraced her.  Pressed her warm flesh against his coldness. Oh, the chill! Icy lips found hers. 

Water rushed down her throat–spurted out her nose–her eyes filled–overflowed. She panicked. Pulled away.

“Stop!”

She cried. Scrubbed her face with the rug.

“Relax,” he said, “Control your fear. The drowning sensation will vanish. I promise.”

“Who are you? Which demon has stolen Alam’s body?”

“I am your Alam.” He kissed her again. “My precious wife.” His garments disappeared as if by magic. Naked, he covered the length of her warm human flesh with his otherworldly coldness.

 “I am so cold. The fire...” she said.

“This new body has an enemy–fire.” He turned and blew into the fireplace. Flames lit up the space. “But I can try to bear it…for you, my love.”

Her heart leaped into the flood of pleasure offered by his arms. Do I care whether he is dead or undead, cold or warm, ghost or demon?

They lay side by side. Stroke for stroke they sought remembrance of times past…but...something jarred...

Delbar felt it creep along her nape. Something frightening, more frightening than what she’d already experienced. She sensed absolute evil.

Too late she saw the malevolent glint in eyes turned red. The beautiful face melted into a hideous mask. The body bunched, the back humped, hands curled into claws that raked her face. Pain stole her breath. The mass twisted into a formless black that blasted putrid air over her like a toxic cloud. Hands forced her arms behind her back. Filthy water poured down her throat. Life squeezed from her.

The flames flickered…and died.

GLOSSARY OF TERMS:

* Yaa Ilaahee! (Oh my God!)

** Daabí Ashkun!”* (No!)

©DeniseCovey2012

***L'Aussie Image edited in PicMonkey.com

WORDS: 986

FULL CRITIQUE ACCEPTABLE 

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Denise

What is a Contract for Marriage? Join Barbara DeLeo today as she answers my questions about writing for Entangled Publishing.

Hello my friends. Today I am chatting with romance author Barbara DeLeo about her newest release, Contract for Marriage.

Denise: Barbara, lovely to meet you.  Thanks for stopping by here at L’Aussie Writing on your tour to let the world know that you have a new novel released. Contract for Marriage sounds a riveting read.

Barbara: Hi Denise! Thanks so much for hosting me on your blog today. It’s been a hectic couple of weeks since the release of my debut novel, Contract for Marriage, so it’s lovely to stop in for a chat. I’m a New Zealander so just across the pond from you, but am currently on a three month trip to Greece and Cyprus with my family. Today I’m in a tiny village on the west coast of Cyprus and it’s gorgeous.

Denise: I'm so jealous! I've not made it to Greece yet! But tell us a little about your writing journey thus far. How many books have you previously published or do you have in the works? Tell us about being picked up by Entangled Publishing.

Barbara: I’ve been writing seriously for the past seven years and in that time completed six manuscripts. I’ve always written romance but in the last few years targeted category length stories specifically.

I completed revisions on a number of manuscripts for different editors but my stories always seemed to be a little out of the box. When my agent suggested we submit my latest manuscript to Entangled Publishing, I was very interested. They’d only just started the Indulgence line and the titles were so fun and fresh that I was more than happy. When my agent called only a couple of weeks later with the offer for Contract for Marriage I was thrilled. I’ve since sold another book to the Indulgence line. “Last Chance Proposal” is out in January.

Denise: Why category romance? For readers who might not be familiar with these books, what do you think their appeal is?

Barbara: Category romance is generally defined as a romance between 40,000 and 80,000 words in which the primary focus is on the developing relationship between the hero and heroine. Someone once described category romance as a hit of rich dark chocolate while a Single Title romance was a three-course meal. I love a three-course meal as much as anyone but I also love my indulgent quick treats and that’s the way I like to think of my category romances. In terms of craft, they are an intense, tightly written story which needs to have full character development, a satisfying story and a happily ever after in one neat package, so they are an exciting challenge to write.

 Denise: I see you love to travel and also that you set your stories in exotic destinations. Did any of your travel experiences turn up in Contract for Marriage?

Barbara: My husband’s family is from Greece and Cyprus (hence the current trip with him, his parents and our four children now!) and we lived and travelled in Europe when we were in our twenties. I love different sights and sounds and smells, so try to layer these into my stories. Contract for Marriage is set in New Zealand but Christo has Greek heritage so I was able to weave in some of my experiences with the Greek culture. While I’m in Europe now I’m taking photos and notes for some settings in future books.

Denise: Both your hero and heroine, Christo and Ruby, sound like very strong characters. How did you find the balance with their strengths? How did you play one against the other?

Barbara: What a great question! I love strong characters, strong alpha males because they know exactly want they want and will do whatever it takes to get it —including moving any obstacle to get the woman they desire— but I believe a strong hero also needs a strong heroine. When each of the characters is challenged by the other we not only get lots of spark, but lots of passion and emotion too.

In Contract for Marriage, Christo and Ruby are not only strong in their belief that they each should have the house, they’re also very strong in their desire to fight for someone they love. For Christo, it’s getting the house for his mother who has lived there for forty years, for Ruby, it’s acquiring a legacy for her baby. I think the fact that both their goals are such honorable ones, readers are prepared to see some fire and conflict between the two. The fact that they’re required to share the house until they can sort their issues out leads to all sorts of interesting shenanigans!

Thanks so much for hosting me today, Denise.

You can find Barbara at:

Website  Facebook   Goodreads  Twitter 

Read Chapter One of Contract for Marriage free!

Buy from Barnes and Noble or Amazon

 Bio

Barbara DeLeo’s first book, co-written with her best friend, was a story about beauty queens in space. She was eleven, and the sole, handwritten copy was lost years ago much to everyone’s relief. It’s some small miracle that she kept the faith and now lives her dream of writing sparkling contemporary romance with unforgettable characters.

Degrees in English and Psychology, and a career as an English teacher, fuelled Barbara’s passion for people and stories, and a number of years living in Europe gave her a love for romantic settings.

Discovering she was having her second set of twins in two years, Barbara knew she must be paying penance for being disorganized in a previous life and was determined to get it right this time. It’s amazing what being housebound with four preschoolers will do for the imagination and she decided it was time to follow her writing dream. Funnily enough, those first manuscripts had not a single child in them.

Married to her winemaker hero, Barbara’s happiest when she’s getting to know her latest cast of characters. She still loves telling stories about finding love in all the wrong places, but now without a beauty queen or spaceship in sight.

• Barbara would love to gift a copy of Contract for Marriage to one lucky commenter, so please comment before leaving. You never know...

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