Wednesday 19 October 2022


 Hello there!

It's time for the WEP October thrilling challenge where writers are asked to respond in any way they choose to Michael Jackson's "Thriller". The options are there for those who resist reading or writing horror in any form, so some entries might be 'thrilling' in other ways. Myself, I'm rather attracted to vampire stories, so of course that's the direction I took my entry. 

For the second half of my entry, I incorporated lyrics from the song, mindful that there is copyright on lyrics, so I changed them. No copyright on titles, thankfully. I also had some useable pics in my picture folders that I hope enhance the 'thrilling' experience.

I hope you enjoy my 'thrilling' entry:

 “Run, Sadie, Run.”

Sadie slithered down the freezing drainpipe, and bam, her ballet flats hit the ground. Creeping cold seeped through her shoes, her toes turned to ice. She slapped her face. Got the blood flowing. Idiot! She should have worn that ugly sheepskin coat her mother gave her, but she wanted to show off her milky white shoulders in her red silky dress. To whom? She was about to find out.

Lucretia, her BFF at her new school had told her about a ceremony happening at midnight deep in the woods. How could Sadie miss that?

She shivered along the snowy path into the wood behind her house. Should have worn a cloak, not this thin shawl. "Yes, Mom, I'm a stupid cow."

“We moved here to get you away from those weirdos in Washington State. But you never listen. Don’t whine to me when disaster strikes.”

“Don’t go walking in those woods at night”, Lucretia had warned her, “especially on Halloween”.

“Especially under moonlight.” Her new boyfriend Xavier added on several occasions while they made out in her room. As he spoke, his eyes gazed at her soulfully, eyes flecked with red which sorta scared her. “Never, never, never enter those woods.” He thumped the pillow. “Evil lurks.”

Sadie had almost laughed. Xavier was so quaint of speech, like he was from another age. But she wasn’t doing trick and treating with the class like she was some stupid little girl. She was going to be a scientist. Scientists don’t believe anything they can’t prove.

She passed an abandoned shack by a frozen stream. She was close.

 Full moon. All Hallow’s Eve. Pagan festival of the dead. Her favorite time of year. Ghosts, vampires, ghouls, zombies and what the heck else come out to toy with humans. She wrapped her arms around herself; snowflakes teased her bare shoulders. Her hair whipped into her mouth, her eyes. Was that ghosts she heard ooh-ing and aah-ing? Turn back, freak, she told herself, but no, she was determined to see if the stories about creepy creatures had merit.

Close to a grassy glade, a circle of trees. Then … she saw it, a sight that almost stopped her heart. Horror hooked her between the eyes like an arrow from a gifted archer. She opened her mouth to scream, but terror stopped her voice.

Black-clad figures wearing white gloves, sang in falsetto while they gyrated, their movements strangely elegant, “Thriller, thriller.”

My God. Who were these copy-cats singing Michael Jackson’s biggest hit? Her heart hammered so loudly her ears throbbed. Were her weird new friends playing tricks on her?

The fake-Jacksons swiveled, booed her, like they saw through the huge tree where she hid.

“Come out, girl, we need your sweetness.” They sang, clapped, made Michael Jackson moves, bodies jerking. “You’ll be thrilling, thrilling, our lips will drip with sweet, sweet blood.” They high-fived, smacked their lips, whirled in the air so many times it made her dizzy. How long had they practiced to get that right?

Some friends, she thought. Ugh. How could they scare her like this?

“Run, Sadie, run.” A familiar voice. A familiar touch. She spun around. No one.

The dancers shot their hands in the air, their claw-like fingers spasming.

“Come to us, little one.

We need your sweetness.”

“Run, Sadie, run.” An awakening fear nailed her feet to the ground.

“We crawl in search of blood.

You are the one we crave.”

A cold hand wrapped around her neck, sharp fingernails pinched her bare shoulders. A creature. Behind her. These creeps were real! She’d read Twilight; she knew what came next. Razor-sharp teeth would rip her apart.

“Midnight is so close at hand.

Jaws of death are in the land.”

Oh, no, no, no. Cold dread crept throughout her body. Then … pfft … maybe … if she opened her eyes, she’d be in her warm bed in her warm room in her warm house with her cold parents.

But no.

“We demons, we’re closin' in on every side.” Voices now deep baritone, they formed a ring around the tree, her prison. In time to the words, they stomped their feet, flew into the air, their robes flapping around their bodies.

“Darkness falls across the land.

Thriller, thriller night.

We will take your sweetness.

Take you to a better world.”

Woodland creatures squawked and squawked, wolves howled, then suddenly stopped, adding to Sadie’s terror.

Deep baritone voices seared her soul. “We will possess you.” And they did, their hands all over her, imprinted her body with ice. “This night we'll open your eyes to the knowledge you seek.”

Sadie couldn’t see their hooded faces, but she smelt foul breath, felt rough tongues, teeth, huge, monstrous, grazed her shoulders. Her knees gave way; she fell into a heap.

“Your body shivers, twitches, but your cries are feeble. Give up the fight.”

“Leave me alone,” Sadie cried, wrapping her hands around her neck. “Go scare someone else.”

“Stand and face we hounds of hell.” They tugged at her hands, exposing her neck. “Let us hold you tight. Thrill us on this thriller, thriller night.”

They hauled her to her feet like she was made of air.

She kicked and screamed, but fingers tore her skin.

“Give in. Give in.

This is the end

we commend.

No mortal can resist our evil.”

“This mortal can.” The familiar voice again.

The foul stench screamed a collective falsetto, ‘Ooh-ooh-ooh’, backed away.

 “Xavier.” Relief coursed through her. “Save me.”

“If I don’t take you, they will.” He stabbed a finger at the demons, their white gloves circling the darkness, their falsetto voices creeping her out big time. “Ooh-ooh-ooh, oh Master.”

WTF? “Master? Xavier?” She tried to pull out of his arms, but they felt like iron bands.

His eyes sparkled with red flecks. “Stay away from these woods, I said, but you didn’t listen. If I let you go now, you’re dead. I’ll change you; you will live with me forever.”

Sadie felt woozy as Xavier’s teeth bit her neck. Oh the exquisite pain of discovering the truth. She heard falsetto voices: “Ooh-ooh-ooh, please give us a go.”

Mom, you were right. I am a stupid cow.


TAGLINE: Mom is always right!

WORDS: 1039



For this challenge, WEP is offering Amazon Gift Cards to three winners to the tune of $20, $15 and $10. If you have a story that meets the guidelines, join us!

I hope you enjoyed my ghoulish story. Please click on my sidebar to read more entries.

While you're here, I'll tell you about WEP's December challenge. We'll tone it down a bit from this month. 

Roberta Flack said -  I think it's the kind of song that has two unique & distinct qualities: it tells a story, and it has lyrics that mean something....Because of [its meaningful lyrics] the [song] can be interpreted by a lot of people in a lot of different ways: the love of a mother for a child, for example, or [that of] two lovers. 

Go HERE for more inspiration.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to read and comment on my post.




Elephant's Child said...

I love it - and look forward to reading the other entries too.
Mind you, a part of me regrets that mother was right. They so often are...

Yolanda Renée said...

Silly, silly girl. I remember going without a jacket or coat. Thought they made me look bigger (fat). LOL We were all silly once, right? But her lesson had dire consequences.

Ornery Owl of Naughty Netherworld Press and Readers Roost said...

In some ways, this story reminds me of an episode from an old Vampirella comic. The girl's father was a devil worshiper, and one night she saw him being absorbed by a light entity. Years later, she married a charming fellow who turned out to be a demon. That story scared the hell out of me! Your story made me think of the girl I used to be and how desperate I was for male attention. I did some really stupid things in pursuit of such.

Jemi Fraser said...

Great job!!! The atmosphere sucked me right in...yes, pun totally intended :)

Damyanti Biswas said...

Wow, that was some beautiful writing. I was hooked :D

J.Q. Rose said...

Wow! Just Wow! I could picture the action so vividly, I did not want to read on, but I was drawn in. Great story. Good lesson. I think I'll share it with my teenage granddaughter!! Thank you.

Olga Godim said...

This is a truly scary story. Poor Sadie.

Nilanjana Bose said...

Yup, mums are always right. I've done it too - gone without a coat and shivered my way through half the night, mine was at an open air, very urban venue and I didn't meet any zombies/vampires thankfully. :)

That was beautifully atmospheric and eerie. Perfect Halloween flash.

Denise Covey said...

Sue, Renee, Ornery Owl, Jemi, Damyanti JQ Rose, Olga, Nilanjana ... glad you mostly agree with me that Mom is always right. Silly Sadie should have listened. Thriller was a chance to write something a bit different from a YA POV. Fun.

L.G. Keltner said...

Mother knows best! Great atmopshere and terrific use of the prompt!

Lenny Lee said...

Hi Miss Denise,

Wow, well-written scary story. Very descriptive. Kept me wanting to read on and hope for the best for Sadie. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Yep, Mother knows best. Thanks for a great read.

Pat Garcia said...

You write excellent Vampire stories! I figured this was one when Xavier told her to stay away from the woods.
Shalom aleichem

Beth Camp said...

Wonderful imagery right from the start. I kept wondering why she didn't listen to Xavier -- and then, why didn't he come to rescue her. And then, he did. Sort of. You kept me reading with all those twists. Is Sadie being too hard on herself? After all, she's now with Xavier -- forever!

Denise Covey said...

Hi Laura, Lenni, Pat and Beth.
Thanks for your kind comments. Glad you all enjoyed it.

Sally said...

Scary stuff - thrilling.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Denise - I'm so glad I don't get drawn into these stories - so easily I could ... daylight here, no woods around ... but been stupid in my day too, thankfully survived to (not) tell the tale!

Excellent about Xavier - he just wanted his sweetness to himself ... great story telling ... I love the red lady - good photo and I could see her trying to keep warmish by wrapping her stole around her. Ballet pumps - I like comfort!!

Cheers and thanks for linking me up - I totally forgot - take care and look after hubby - I have to find out what happened - I'll end up in the right place sometime soon! With thoughts - Hilary

Nick Wilford said...

Ah! I knew there was something wrong about Xavier when you first introduced him. This was a lot of fun.

Tanya Miranda said...

"How long had they practiced to get that right?" That made me chuckle. I kept imagining creatures dancing around like the dancers in the video. Even the "ooh ooh ooh", in my head they were singing them soulfully and moving in unison. Great way to incorporate the lyrics.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Great use of the lyrics to Thriller and the story it tells. I enjoyed reading your entry. Yep, those vampires and their woods are hard to resist.

Bernadette said...

Well if it wasn't the vampire it would've been the cold. She should've stayed indoors.

A Hundred Quills said...

Oh God, that moment when you realise your mom's right! And how in this case! I enjoyed this, Denise. Somehow I had a feeling about Xavier.

N. R. Williams said...

Great Story, Denise. She can use her long life to be an exceptional scientist. Love it.

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