The RomanticFridayWriters challenge this week is 'I Need A Change'. A suggested setting is a romantic paradise (not that that would have anything to do with me being in Fiji at the moment!). It's to be a first-person challenge of 400 words of prose or prosetry. These challenges are open to all writers of prose or poetry.
‘Ni Sa Moce!’ Farewell.
A beautiful leather plaited wristband. On a mother-of-pearl shell was etched: ‘Inya loves Sally.’
FCA
I hope you enjoyed my little Paradise Romance. To read more on the theme, I Need a Change, click on the writer's names below:
‘You don’t belong here,’ Inya said, his white teeth gleaming in the dark.
‘I belong here with you Inya,’ I said.
‘Your life is far away. I’m just a holiday romance.’
‘You’re wrong. I don’t want to ever go home.’
‘You came looking for a change. You’ve had your change. Your boat leaves tomorrow. Be on it.’
Inya strode off through the trees. I knew he’d go fishing on the other side of the island. His way of relaxing. That’s where we first met. I’d just arrived on Anam Island and was taking a moonlight stroll when I tripped over his line in the sand.
‘Damn!’ I fell face first into the wet corally stuff.
Strong arms lifted me.
‘You okay?’
I looked into the darkest face and sweetest smile I’d ever seen.
‘I'm fine now. I didn’t see -.’
‘Sorry. No one usually comes this time of night.’
‘Except insomniac me. I’m often wandering round.’
‘You could get into strife that way.’
‘That’s what I’m hoping for.’
He was adorable with beautiful smooth skin and curly hair. No shirt, just a pair of board shorts. I leaned forward and kissed him.
We sat at the water’s edge the rest of the night sipping kava. We caught no fish, but caught the romance of the spot – lapping waves soft at our feet, misty islands peeping through the fog of early dawn, the majestic elegance of the sailing vessel tacking between islands.
‘I could stay here forever,’ I said.
‘They all say that.’
The next few days were blissful. Inya took me into the village to meet his family - from two sets of grandparents right down to his little baby sister. I loved the way they lived the simple life - catching fish, milking goats, harvesting cassava and taro, drinking fresh-caught rainwater.
After Inya's morning chores, we took a little boat and fished the reef - we snorkeled - we dove amongst the coral.
I lived in my bikini, sulu and flip-flops - no business suit.
How could I go back to the rat race?
How could I go back to the rat race?
☁☁☁
The boat sounded its horn as it drifted into the lagoon. My heart was a hollow husk.
‘Ni Sa Moce!’ Farewell.
‘Wait!’
Inya ran to me, cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, delighting the roaring crowd.
‘Take this. Remember me.’
‘Take this. Remember me.’
A beautiful leather plaited wristband. On a mother-of-pearl shell was etched: ‘Inya loves Sally.’I will be back.
©DeniseCovey2012
WORDS: 407FCA
I hope you enjoyed my little Paradise Romance. To read more on the theme, I Need a Change, click on the writer's names below:
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43 comments:
A perfect summer romance. I wonder if she will be back?
Lovely romantic ending. With the mother-of-pearl shell etched: ‘Inya loves Sally.’
A nice touch.
I wasn't sure in the first line (You don’t belong her), if it should say 'here' or 'to her'. It took me a while to work out that Inya was male and the MC female.
Otherwise, though, it was a lovely story.
She has to go back!
I wonder when she says she could stay there forever and Inya replies with 'they all say that' if that should give her a clue as to his character? I had to look up what 'boardies' were but now I understand. A holiday romance and then back to reality. She'll have happy dreams for a few nights after she gets back. I loved this story.
Loved it! You captured him with dialogue. Great job.
Cheers,
Nancy
PS. I finally got your email and read your post on world building. If you all want I can help. Just send an email.
Oh, this makes me wonder what she has waiting for her back at home.. if anything. I can't help but to think of all the different scenarios that could happen!! One, she goes back home to her husband and they try to work on their marriage while she's pining away for this man she met on the islands.. Will she come clean to her husband? Will she try to move on? Or will she go back?? Or will the handsome islander come looking for her?? You left a lot of room for the imagination here!! I loved it! It was so intriguing!!
The writing flows. Dialogue, description excellent. Note the few comments above. You could say Inya said, HIS white teeth... That would fix the male/female issue.
Thanks for pointing out that I'd lost my link to my blogspot on my wordpress blog. I was trying to fix something recently on WP, and I obviously did something wrong. Have spent almost half an hour trying to remember how to set up the links!
Would love to escape to an island paradise. How much longer do you have in paradise?
Ann Best, Memoir Author
Dear Denise,
What a lovely story! I'm there with Sally tripping over Inya's fishing line, walking in the moonlight, and meeting Inya's extended family.
Sally seems to be an over-worked career-woman trapped in a rat-race for material success. Ynya's has reminded her of other values, such as the simple life, home and family.
But what a dilemma! She can't very well drop everything and stayed there without thinking this through more carefully.
Great story, that raises all kinds of questions. I can imagine all sorts of possible next installments!
I could really use a trip to Fiji to do research for my story. I have never been in that part of the world and here I have chosen to write about it as if I knew what I was talking about!!
Just laugh at all of my mistakes.
Best wishes & hugs,
Anna
For the benifit of other readers:
RFW No.42 - 'I need a change'
Beautiful piece of romance, tearful and joyous. The words followed and created a soft melody. But, will she be back or will be like million other holiday romance promises that get broken.
Inya sounds divine - the perfect holiday romance... and maybe more? Is this slightly autobiographical, Denise? :)
Hi Denise,
I see you're enjoying Fiji still. No doubt the perfect backdrop for this romantic offering. You capture well the anxieties and conflicting emotions of a holiday romance. I like! I hope she goes back.
Loved all the cultural descriptions. Made me feel like I was there. I think I hear accordion music in the background. This was sweet.
.......dhole
My dear Denise,
Oh the mystery and secrets of romance and passion (smile). We all want her to return. There is so much love waiting for her. In dreams and fantasies, she will never be alone. Thanks for sharing my friend.
Sounds to me like you're under the influence of Fiji. Hah! Change of scenery indeed!
Lee
Wrote By Rote
Thank you Maddy. 'Here' was the correct assumption. Typo. Sorry. I added 'his white teeth' to clear up that confusion.
Thanks Sally. There are lots of different words to different things around the world. Aussies say 'boardies' for 'board shorts'. It never hurts to learn new expressions and realise all languages are different.
Thanks Nancy. I will be in touch.
Crystal, yes, I don't want this story to end here. I'll continue it in Romantic Picnic I think.
Hello dear Ann. I've rectified my little omissions in the story. Hope you sorted the blogspot link.
Our last week countdown started today, Sunday, gulp. I'm so greedy. Not ready to go home yet.
Anna,thanks for your comment. You always make my day. It really helps to be in a place to pick up the cultural refs and the nuances. I was on this island of course and that is my photo to prove it, but alas, I didn't meet an Inya there. Lovely people. I had my own gorgeous hunk with me!
Yes, it's easy to make promises, but hard to keep them.
In my dreams Talli!
So do I hope I, er, she goes back.
Not accordion Donna, a small guitar just slightly bigger than a ukelele...strum, strum, strum...
Ah, this appeals to the romantic in us all. Of course she should go back, but will she?
Change of scenery is good don't you think?
Nicely done, Denise.
I could actually smell the ocean air wafting across the lapping waves. I particularly enjoyed how you incorporated his family into the scene. A lot of story in so few words.
Have a great weekend!
Thanks Michael. Glad you liked it. Weekend just looked up with the first gin and tonic...
Yes that works much better :O)
A summer romance...what a lovely read Denise :)
Many thanks for your visit and the kind words.
Have a pleasent Sunday
Denise, I totally loved your light and breezy but well-crafted (1) 'change' - could see myself in the roaring crowd. Oh, but time has flown. You've only got about a week left. Hope each moment is a lingering smile!
I'm clueless as to how Ann thought that. (She's done this before.) We had a beyond fabulous time. As he probably did for you, for a while time didn't exist, like we were forever under sunny skies with golden beaches and meals in dining rooms (no cooking for five weeks, Yaaaay! - I love to cook, but hey, breaks are lovely!)
Getting back into the routine. Hub's nephew comes Friday. He's thinking of going to Georgetown University and wants a quiet look-see. (How do these kids grow up so fast?
Enjoy the rest of your holiday!!!
Very nice, sweet, romantic story. Who wants to crawl back into a business suit after that? Thoroughly enjoyed it.
aw, I love this story. I'm still smiling as I type this out.
That was a sweet comment from Lynda!
Denise, I hope it's okay that I post this here but I just did some massive blog-hopping from your blog roll -- you have quite the wonderful collections of sites!
Sounds very romantic! I always like the way you paint a picture, especially here, with the island. I like it!
♥ Mary Mary
I follow some awesome bloggers. I'm happy that you did that. D
Thanks Mary...
This was so gorgeous, I think I fancy Inya a bit!
Sorry it took me so long to get here to read your story, I've been a bit out of the online loop lately. So glad I've seen this now, and so excited to have you back for the next writer's group meeting :)
i love the story. No business suits for me either!
Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
I LOVED your little paradise romance. It's very . . . romantic! And touched all the fantasy instincts perfectly. Great dialogue.
Thanks Linda.
You've no idea how excited I am about seeing you all again. And to drink some real coffee. Hmmmmm
Super sweet! What a fun romance... I bet she'll come back.
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