RomanticFridayWriters is a fortnightly blogfest of flash fiction under 400 words, whether prose or poetry. It has some romantic element, but not necessarily a HEA. It's a way to experiment with different styles of writing, different genres, different voices. Feedback is given which will help you expand your ideas if you wish to polish your entry for publication. Full critique is available if you request it. Add your name to the linky here if you want to experiment with us...Further suggestions are on our Challenges Page.
Occasionally I experiment with monologue. My Writing Class today was on 'person', so here is a combination of first and the devilishly-tricky second...
You can approach this prompt any way you choose. The overall theme is of course indecision. I've interspersed the words of the prompt throughout. They're in a different colour and large type...
Yes, well it’s nearly winter, so I’m in a bad mood, how about you? Okay, I know winter can be a cosy time of year. After all, what could be better than snuggling up with a lover in a warm bed? Not much, that is, if you had a lover. And that’s the problem you see. I have no lover, no one to warm my bed. Well, that’s not strictly true. I have Pusska, my Russian Blue Siamese who loves me well. Well, he’s not exactly human but oh he makes a good leg warmer. He gets right in under the covers and lies on my poor cold feet. Alright then, that’s not all he does. He also sits beside me as I look out the window, searching for my lost lover who obviously isn’t coming back. Aren't I the fool then? I shiver and dream of my soft bed but I pull my shawl closer and worry the bright beads around my neck while I peer into the night. I’m rather an obsessive type who doesn’t like to let go as you've already figured out. But I should, shouldn't I? I murmur endearments to Pusska that I used to whisper to Vallen when he was in a mind to be loved. Pusska loved him too and I can tell he misses the way Vallen used to toss him off the recliner chair before the fire. Pusska had a habit of sneaking onto the master’s chair until Vallen got home but I notice poor kitty just sits beside it now and looks up suspiciously, as if he thinks Vallen might come back if his chair's not taken. I used to make do with the radiant heat, or whatever was left over after Vallen and Pusska warmed up. I was happy with whatever I could get, pitiful me. But I want that old life back don't I? I’m desperate. I’m lonely. I’m sick of just daydreaming about Vallen. Sure, he could be cruel but that’s all I’ve ever known in my lifetime. I’ve read in books how heroes are chivalrous, kind, thoughtful, well, that’s a laugh isn't it? My heroes have all been in the Vallen mode – nasty and brutish. But just when you think you can take no more, these brutes do something beautiful, move your chair closer to the fire, bring home some trinket you’ve lusted after, bring you a cat to keep you warm when they’re planning on doing a runner, leaving you all alone to face winter...
Yes, well, it's officially the first day of Winter in Australia today. Autumn and Winter are my two favourite seasons over here. Just right. Glorious sunshine, not too hot. It's nice to get those boots out for a couple of wearings before it's too hot again. And brush up that winter coat for going out at night. Sadly, I have no fire to recline before, but yes, we do have fireplaces in Australia in some cold places, just not very common in Queensland which is semi-tropical.
- So I was inspired by the season and my writing class today. What do you think? Did you think Vallen was another cat? Yes, I thought so too when I was writing it, but no, I decided to make him an ugly human instead, lol!
WORD COUNT: 392
FCA
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31 comments:
I can picture this scene perfectly, nice one, Denise!
Hi,
Different approach to prompt but really effective! Touchingly atmospheric and insight to character thought mode makes for interesting read... ;)
best
F
well done!
Hi, Denise,
I really like the feeling of this. No, from the beginning I thought Vallen was a man. I didn't realize we had to do prompt words. I might have a few of them, but I certainly could have added them easily into my scene.
I hope you like it.
Your descriptions and voice are dead on... excellent job.
Happy winter. We are going into summer. Still in Florida and I am wilting ALL OVER THE PLACE! LOL.
I feel quite sad for her now. I hope she gets through the winter.
I wasn't sure if Vallen was man or cat. Winter makes me depressed, so I can relate to the feeling of sadness and emptiness. I didn't have a clue for this prompt, BTW :-) I SOO need to work on romance!
Very moody. Sad and wintry like today! Was not confused about who Vallen might be. Felt for sad, desperate, pitiful. Perhaps a dog would be a good companion!
Hey Raelene, thanks for stopping by. Yep, dogs beat cats for companionship any time! D.
Hi LI. As you can see the romance in mine is very, well, scant, but it's enough for RFW entries. I love winter, don't get me wrong, but Aussies bleat about it for the whole 2 weeks we usually have, lol! D.
I'm sure she will Sally. No doubt another Vallen-type will come along. D.
Hi Michael, I'm so glad you've entered this week! No, you don't have to use the prompt words unless that's a criteria. Sometimes some of us do. It just struck me that this was the best way for me this time.
I'm glad the voice is dead on. I've been working on that.
Lucky you. Florida. Must be early summer wilt. NO doubt there's a lot more wilting to happen yet. d.
Thanks Lynn! D.
Hi F. Glad you thought it was an effective approach. Like your last entry, this was done off the cuff in a short time. Previously had no inspiration at all. I love the old monologue. D.
Thanks Catherine! Thanks for stopping by too. D.
Quite the atmosphere you've built Denise :) The changing seasons can be so emotive. I think we both hit the redemption theme in our excerpts :)
.......dhole
That was so cold and sad! I hadn't even considered Vallen was another cat, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. Very haunting
Intense - I liked following the thought process through the exceprt - nicely done!
You're very good at monologuing, Denise. I love the way you drew us in and you've certainly used the theme well. Good job. :)
Dear Denise,
Finally someone who admits to talking to their cat! I have long and deep discussions with my four cats about subjects that are dear to me and to them. They all like to be cuddled in different ways.
Lovely story!
I am drowning in tax papers. I took a break and wrote my story without playing with it too much. But I have thought about it for weeks and even started reading Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island to get ideas. Problem is that I have too many ideas. My story is just bare bones.
Best wishes,
Anna
Anna's RFWers Challenge No 37 'Yes, No, oh, alright then.'
Hi Denise,
With this monologue, you made me visualize the whole scene. It was good.
Thanks so much! D.
Anna, thanks for your kind comments as always. I've been over to read your pirate story and it's so sweet. d.
My dearest Denise,
All I can say is I know a lot of guys who wish they was Pusska to warm your feet (lol). Great story with a sense of humor. About winter? I like it very much...I just don't like the snow. Thanks for sharing my friend.
Hi Andy. You're a wag. I love winter and that cozy feeling, for awhile, anyway. D.
As always you do a beautiful job of painting a scene and creating a mood. I feel very comfortable in this scene and the description of your feelings--the longing for love lost, the attempt to recapture what was good about it and struggling against what was bad.
Oh, and thank you for your offer to read my novel Laughing Hawk. I would love to have your input. I definitely will get in touch with you when I finish editing.
initially I did think Vallen was a cat.
I actually don't mind winter anymore. I have a couch that gets flooded by warming sunlight in the winter when I open up the blinds.
Well he can't be all bad if he got her a pet. Good monologue just the right amount of meandering to make it seem more realistic to thoughts without going full stream of consciousness.
I like the relationship between Vallen and the cat, although I think Lynda hit on any interesting spin ;)
See you Wednesday!
I could definitely relate to the anti-winter feelings! That's why I moved to England (it's a respite from Canada, anyway!). I did think Vallen was a kitty at first!
I think writing a monologue is an excellent idea. I should do that more often! I enjoyed reading yours.
Like your take on this Lynda. D.
LOLOLOL!
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