Thursday, 27 October 2011

#RomanticFridayWriters challenge - Haunting - My story, 'Love Stories Suck.'

This being the closest posting to Halloween, Romantic Friday Writers chose the theme, Haunting, for stories/poems this week. So if you're into the paranormal, horror, a bit of scary, or just stories of haunting memories, you'll enjoy reading 400 word posts this weekend. Maybe you've still got time to grab an extract from your scary WIP or pen a story or poem especially for the challenge. Linky doesn't close for 3 days.

My story is one I'd started several months ago when I was experimenting with paranormal. For this week's theme, I've re-crafted it as a fun piece. I've deliberately used cliches so don't get upset about that. Occasionally I long to break the 'no cliches' rule, don't you? 

Hope you enjoy 'Love Stories Suck.'

When you’ve lived on this earth for 400+ years you crave excitement. I was done with sleeping all day in a dark room, hiding from the sun, waking up to microwaved blood. What’s a vamp to do all century? Haunt the streets?
I slammed the hotel door and sashayed along Montmarte’s glitter strip, my current Parisian suburb of interest. Next to Moulin Rouge, I saw it: ‘A VENDRE’. My synapses zapped.
I’d accumulated a tidy sum in 400 years. Compound interest compounded, so before you could say ‘I need blood’ I owned a business.
The little bar was perfect, vamp chic – blood-red carpet, black walls, red bar, black furniture. Suited my little black er, heart. The pictures clinched the deal – horror-movie posters.
Now I didn’t have to prowl the mean streets at night.  

‘Ya not going to run this place all by yaself, are ya?’
I turned from admiring my Dracula poster and it was like, wow! Flowing black tresses, lush curves poured into a little black dress. Tasty.
‘You offering to help?’
“Ya, moi, who else d’ya see?’
‘You know bar work? You look, like, twelve. ID?’ I was only kidding but she whipped out the plastic.
‘Looks can be deceiving. You look, like, nineteen.’ She winked.
I flipped the ID back to her. Fake as, who cared? I want this girl-child.
‘What d’ya think? I been working bars for many a year. Know some tricks.’
‘It’s not that kind of bar. It’ll be a clean operation.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Drink, tapas, music…’
‘Boring as. But I can be boring if ya want.’
 ‘What’s your name?’ I asked, taking her hand. ‘I’m Drack Kulah.’
‘Well I’m Ruby Black, but go by -’
‘Snow White?’
‘Right on. Hilaarrious. So, whatcha think?’
‘You’re hired. No funny business or you’ll be out on your pretty butt.’
‘My butt’s pretty?’ She twirled, black lacy dress flowing like waves, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of shapely snow-white leg and a flash of lacy knickers. Pity she wore Doc Marten’s.
‘You want stilettos, you got stilettos,’ she smirked, ‘but that’s not all I got.’ She sidled up.

Who needs to go hunting? She was mine, right here, right now.
I took her in my steel-like arms, going for the jugular, then…wow! She had no throbbing pulse! That was that. Of course I knew the minute she walked in...

At least one female in the bar's out of temptation’s way.


Critique: MPA (Minor Points Acceptable) 

Go here for more stories...


  1. I like the creative take on the dark side of romance. Their names made me laughed..ha..ha... Thanks for sharing this ~

  2. Heaven, thanks for visiting/reading. Glad you liked it.


  3. Very good story. Perfect for Halloween.

  4. Hi,

    Hee hee, a good humorous feel to this. Brilliant, and the names were classic! ;)


  5. Oh Denise! This was fun!

    I think we were thinking on the same wave-length. Both of us have opted for humourous takes filled with clichés! Love it!

    Thanks for visiting. You are first commenter and have received an extra picture-link.

    (I have corrected the spelling. Thanks for spotting that!)

    Happy Halloween!

    For the benefit of other readers:
    Anna's RFWers' Challenge No. 25 - 'Haunting'

  6. Clean operation...what's that?! Love love the humour. Well crafted, Denise. Brilliant dialogue. Great voice too. I just wanted it to go on and on. Pity it had to end. Could listen to those two all night. But Drack Kulah had to have his way;)

    I hope you're working on getting the novella out soon. Drack Kulah's voice is the biz!

  7. Living for 400+ years...I wonder how that feels - to witness the comings and goings of many generations! Interesting piece, Denise! :) I love the flow of dialogue, too!

  8. Hello.
    Laughing...what a fun tale!
    Loved the setting, conversation, imagery & even the cliches. Drack one!

    Awesome, Denise, just awesome!

    This Unknown Spirit

  9. Miranda: Thanks for stopping by and enjoying my story.

    Francine: I had a ball writing it.Thanks.

    Anna: I do love cliches as they're often the best way of having a bit of fun. Thanks. Love Drusilla and Chester.

    Golden: Thanks.

    Adura: Glad you got the humour. I just might build on this one.

    Len: Well if I expanded this story I'd be able to have fun with the historical eras also. Fun.

    Andy: I think you liked it! Thanks! Drak Kula is pretty awful but it fits here!


  10. Sarah: Oops, I missed you! Thanks. It seems quite a few people like these two and their comebacks!


  11. 404; really, you couldn't cut 4 words . .

    I'm in love already. ‘I’m Drack Kulah.’ This was awesome. And the Snow White reference; brilliant. I always knew there was something funky about that the fairy princess :)

    Yeah; I like this a lot.


  12. Donna: I'm glad you liked it and the Snow White/Dracula refs. Fun to write and read!


  13. Hi Densie
    I loved your humor. I would be bored too after 400 years. No reason two vamps can't have fun together even if they can't drink blood. I also liked the Snow White and Dracula ref.
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

  14. No pulse! Nice ending!

    As for microwaved blood, ew. ;P

  15. I love your voice in this. Of course with Victor in my head all the time -- that comes as no surprise, right!

    I like saucy undead romance. The cliches worked in this perfectly, Roland

  16. Nancy: Why not have fun after 400 years, eh? Glad you liked it.

    Lydia: Now what's wrong with microwaved blood doc? Squemish? Ha ha.

    Roland: Glad you felt at home with this piece. A bit of Victor d'ya think?


  17. That was fun. I loved the voices, particularly hers, I could see her as the star of some undead crime novel :-)

    Denise, if you get the chance sometime, have a look at my blog post from last Wednesday.

  18. Sarah, thanks for reading. I will pop over soon!


  19. Hi Sarah.

    (((sniffle))) Thank you so much for the award. You're a'makin' me all teary like.


  20. Very fun story - love your ability to make the characters have such different voices.

    Talk about a fun post to read when I just found your blog - new follower :)

  21. I love the description of the bar: 'The little bar was perfect, vamp chic – blood-red carpet, black walls, red bar, black furniture. Suited my little black er, heart. The pictures clinched the deal – horror-movie posters'.

    There was a lovely humorous banter that enhanced the spookiness of this piece.

  22. This was wicked fun :) Love the rolling rhythm to it, too!

  23. Hi Denise,

    I LOVED this! Too fun! Your characters are great. One minor suggestion you had mentioned the 400 years twice. I think the second one could be cut and perhaps use "Over the centuries" instead. It still has his voice.

    Otherwise loved the descriptions and location. Well done.

    Donna pointed out that my Rule of 3 post would work for RWF, so I quickly put up your badge, gave you guys a shout out, and joined in the group.

    Sorry I hadn't done it sooner. I am still off for some reason.

    I am glad you liked my segment. I borrowed these characters from BG and changed a few things. I hope you can get to it soon, I know you will enjoy it.

    Have a great weekend.

  24. Tasha: Welcome new follower and I'm glad I was able to impress you with my fun story! I'll be over to see you soon.

    Madeleine: Thank you. It was fun.

    meradeth: Glad you liked it.

    Michael: Glad you liked it except for the '400' years bit. Yeah, I don't need it the second time.

    I'm so excited you have joined us. It'll be great to have you as a member and you'll be able to post snippets from your WIPs.

    I'll be starting BG this coming week in between writing for NaNo...

    I'm off to RFWers to see what's new today!


  25. Love it! A match made in heaven... or hell. :)

  26. I really enjoyed this one Denise :) Good job! I like the slightly saucy humour in it.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  27. Talli: Thanks matey.

    Trisha: You're welcome. Glad you like the humour.


  28. Yummy! Love the cynical voice. Hope they can be together even if they can't feed off each other...

  29. Deniz: Oh you romantic, you!


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  31. I liked your take on romance through the dark shades, Denise! Good one!

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  34. Sorry for the multiple posting, Blogger hates me!

  35. Nas: Gee and I got so excited at the number of comments that had come in in such a short time! Ha ha ha. Thanks for your comment Nas. Always appreciate your visits.


  36. This piece is so much fun! I love the voice. Really enjoyed it :)


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