ON WRITING

“It’s very easy to quit during the first ten years of writing. Nobody cares whether you write or not, and it’s very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. You can’t get fired if you don’t write, and most of the time you don’t get rewarded if you do. But don’t quit.” Andre Dubus

Saturday, 29 January 2011

No Fear Blogfest - look how brave my MC is! Publication Party post below...

Thanks to Dominic de Mattos @ Writes of Passage for this No Fear blogfest. Here we are to post a passage from one of our WIPs where our MC shows bravery. Don't forget to click on the link to read other entries.


Here is my entry. I have publised a version of this story before, but I have tweaked it for this blogfest. It is an extract from which much has been cut for brevity.I hope it still makes sense.


MEMORIES

She is a fool to come back. This hated place holds too many memories, too many secrets. But they are memories and secrets she can no longer ignore.

She needs to face her fears.

Here it is, the beach house, its timbers broken and exposed. Years of relentless tides have eaten away at its foundations. It now teeters on the edge of the dunes, on its knees in the sand, ready to surrender to a king tide.


But today the ocean holds no threat, its gentle waves lap the sand, leaving a trail of silvery froth and grit. She falls to her knees onto the silky sand, her body hunched over. Memories of that night come rushing in with the force of a tidal wave.

At times she almost forgets why she has been running away from her memories for so long. But the mind holds onto things, remembers things best forgotten. Here today, confronted with the crumbling house, her mind is searching its dark recesses, unearthing hidden secrets which she thought buried. Through the years in her silent moments, she had heard it speaking so softly in the gentlest of whispers, as it tried to speak to her of its memories. Then there were other times where her pain had come rushing to the surface without warning, hurtling through her like a runaway train, threatening to derail her altogether.


She cries there, hunched in the wet sand. She no longer wants to carry that heavy sharp stone of hurt.

***
Her life changed on a night when the wind roared.
The Pacific waters swirled and fell in a dance of wave and tide. Then the winds calmed and the moon rose and sat outside her window.


She’d been dreaming of the sea as she did every night. This night, she opened her eyes and watched the moonlight creep across her bed like a lover’s soft caress. The sheets were tangled and fell over the bed like waves. She kicked off the covers and threw herself across the bed like a marionette without strings.


The moon’s light overlooked the angry welts criss-crossing her legs. The welts throbbed, but she had no ointments to ease the pain. But that was his intention.

***
The crashing waves come closer and closer as high tide approaches. Soon the water will be just below her window. She can hear its relentless pummelling. The sound and rhythm remind her of her father’s blows. He will not be denied his will. She will not give in.


There was a big storm earlier in the night and now the rain starts again. It will cover her tracks. She hasn’t been able to communicate with Ahmed but she is not afraid.


She knows he waits for her beyond the dunes.

The sea calls to her. The open window draws her into the night. A soft swish and she is swimming for her life in the treacherous waters, her robe tangling around her knees, threatening to drag her under.


Her bare feet find sand at last. She straightens and runs towards the trees, her sodden robe tripping around her ankles.


Ahmed whispers her name.


***
He sees her now as he watches from the top of the dunes, next to the crumbling wreck that had been her home, then her prison. A few long strides and he is by her side. He gently lifts her and cradles her and rocks her like a baby as she cries.


He knows the tears are healing, making her whole.

“My brave girl,’ he whispers.


THE END
©Denise Covey, 2011


27 comments:

  1. Love this - you have a lovely touch :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Her sadness is so tangible! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Her sadness is like an actual presence. You did a great job! Roland

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a wonderful read. You feel as though you are there with her.

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow what an intense piece! Great job :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. A powerful memory. It is a brave act to visit the past, to let it reap its misery.

    ..........dhole

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi,

    Oh I so remember this piece, and it's lost nothing from a second reading! ;)

    best
    F

    ReplyDelete
  8. Denise,
    What a good snip! It's intense and compelling. And thanks for the link to the blog contest. I'm still waffling on entering. I have a bit more time to consider it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 'Here it is, the beach house, its timbers broken and exposed. Years of relentless tides have eaten away at its foundations. It now teeters on the edge of the dunes, on its knees in the sand, ready to surrender to a king tide.'

    I love this description.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like it but wish I knew who "she" is. I'm picky about that whether first person or third, I want a character's name. But I love the beach and house. You write it well.

    ReplyDelete
  11. *sigh* lovely!!! Totally works like this (too).

    T.x

    ReplyDelete
  12. Such an intense piece of writing and it was if I could feel her pain. Beautiful piece of writing!

    No Fear Blogfest

    ReplyDelete
  13. I had such a picture of the beach, the sand, the pain she was dealing with. How she wanted to face it. Wonderful excerpt.

    ReplyDelete
  14. The setting was so clear and you made me empathize with your MC, and she doesn't even have a name. well done.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I felt I was with her from the opening line. beautiful writing - I loved it. A lovely piece to share, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This was awesome! You did a really great job!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is a very emotive scene. I love your imagary, and you convey courage effortlessly in beautiful writing. This passage really draws the reader in and takes them to that place by the sea.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This passage really draws the reader in with the vivid imagery. The sea is described in great detail.It is so sad. The courage is lyrically lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks Jemi, Alleged Author, Roland, Mason, Writers Block NZ, Donna,Tessa, Ellie, Clarissa, Myne, thanks

    Francine (the first scene is new),

    Zan, thanks and hope you do,

    mshatch: glad you like it.

    dawn: sorry about her name but I don't think you need to know for this excerpt,

    ReplyDelete
  20. Great excerpt! Very emotional, and I can see the picture you paint clearly in my head.

    Also, I am having a celebration over at my blog with interviews and giveaways!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh I loved this, Denise.

    So lyrical and I love the way you weaved the sea theme through the whole piece, real and metaphorical. It was poignant, emotive and unquestionably brave!

    :Dom

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well done, Denise. I was caught while the waves of her emotions crashed over me all the way to the end. Two thumbs up. Most excellent.
    Nancy
    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

    ReplyDelete
  23. Alexia, Dominic and Nancy: Thank you for reading and enjoying my snip.

    Denise :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. CONGRATULATIONS - you are a finalist in the No Fear blogfest. Voting is open until midnight GMT on Sat 6th Feb
    Thanks for taking part!
    :Dom

    ReplyDelete
  25. Beautiful imagery and powerful emotion. I could really picture the story as it unfolded. Well worth the nomination. Congratz!

    Following :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's written beautifully. You said so much so little space. No wonder you won.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you! Hit me with your wisdom!