Well, I'm back! Thanks to those of you who followed my trip on Facebook, but I mostly posted on Instagram. Was a wonderful five weeks, so now I'm struggling with jet lag which is particularly cruel this time. I'm getting about two hours of sleep a night, then teaching through the day which is a real hoot.
It's time for WEP again. Every October we host a Halloween challenge and we're ready to go. If you have a Halloween story in your files, you may like to post to the thread. Just click 'Submit' in my right-hand sidebar or go to the Write...Edit...Publish site. Love to have you.
Here goes...through the eyes of a child...
Inspired by a true story I read about what happened to those assisting foreign powers in war-torn countries.
It's time for WEP again. Every October we host a Halloween challenge and we're ready to go. If you have a Halloween story in your files, you may like to post to the thread. Just click 'Submit' in my right-hand sidebar or go to the Write...Edit...Publish site. Love to have you.
Here goes...through the eyes of a child...
Inspired by a true story I read about what happened to those assisting foreign powers in war-torn countries.
The Strange House in the Woods
Yasmina
hated being in these strange woods without her Dada.
By
the time she and Mama reached the house, darkness was catching them. The house was big and black and trees stood all
around, trying to hide the house from them.
Looking
up at the sky, Yasmina saw a heap of tired old clouds with raggedy edges
ripping apart, falling onto their heads like grey angels. The snow
exploded while she danced around, arms in the air, catching snowflakes. Soon
her gloves were soaked, so she ran across the frozen grass to the door. If they
didn’t get inside it’d be dark. She hated the dark.
Mama
was trying to stab a big key into an old lock, but she couldn’t budge the door.
She was taking a long time, so Yasmina slapped her ears with her wet mittens
and watched the snowflakes scattering.
‘Stop
it!’ Mama yelled.
Even
though she was freezing in the big coat the kind Red Cross lady had given her
when she got off the aeroplane, Yasmina tried to stand still so Mama wouldn’t
be angry.
‘Help
me,’ Mama said.
They
pushed and pushed against the door, grunting and groaning. Creak! Suddenly they both fell inside on top of each other. Yasmina
laughed, but Mama said a bad word.
Mama
hurried back outside and grabbed their suitcases. Dropping them onto the carpet,
she said another bad word.
Snow
had followed them into the house, blown in by the wind which howled like angry
ghosts, swirling, tossing snow into their faces.
Bang! Mama kicked the big old door shut, then
hopped around the room holding her foot and yelling lots of bad words. Finally,
she stopped hopping.
Yasmina
ran to the window and looked up the road where they’d walked from the car into
the woods. Was Dada coming soon?
***
When
she and Mama had walked the long and lonely road to the house, the trees scared
her. They lined up along the road in black rows like the soldiers when they
came to their village and took the fathers and boys away. She’d jumped with fright
when clumps of snow dropped off the branches and fell to the ground, exploding
like bombs. Mama had pulled her from her hiding place underneath some prickly bushes
and she’d hit Mama, screaming, ‘I want my Dada!’
Mama
wiped her tears and whispered, ‘I want Dada too.’
‘Why
did Dada go?’
‘The
bad men took him.’
‘Will
Dada come back, Mama?’
‘He
will never leave us, my child.’
***
‘Akham!’
Mama cried, slumping in the big stuffy chair near the fireplace.
Yasmina
ran from the window and patted Mama’s twitchy hand. ‘Don’t cry Mama. Dada’ll
never leave us.’ Finding an old blanket on the sofa, she covered Mama’s shaking
shoulders.
Patting
the flashlight in her pocket, she decided to explore the house by herself coz
when Mama got the sadness for Dada it was best to leave her.
The
room where Mama sat was big, bigger than their whole house back home, but not
as pretty. The house where they'd lived before Dada went away with the bad men had
coloured rugs on the walls and soft mats on the floors where they ate. Here, everything
was brown, the colour of the bad men’s uniforms.
Pushing
open a door, she entered a creepy room, with windows looking into the dark
woods. There was a great big table in the middle of the floor with two lonely brown
chairs. Opening the refrigerator, she saw food—not much—but Yasmina was hungry.
Better not eat or Mama would be even angrier with her, so she took an
apple from a bowl. Yasmina couldn’t remember when she last ate. Was it breakfast
at the strange place where soldiers marched in rows outside? Or was that lunch?
She couldn’t tell. The food had been strange.
Mama
had whispered: ‘This is a hamburger. It is what Americans eat. We will get used
to it.’ Yasmina’s stomach rumbled and hurt when she pressed it. Now she wished
she had tried the brown meat bun.
She
walked up the stairs, crunching the red apple which made a loud crack. She could
walk to heaven. Maybe that’s where Dada was. The stairs groaned and cried
louder than Mama. Spiders were knitting in the corners, trailing their threads
down into the hall, their beady black eyes watching her.
She
pushed open a door at the top of the stairs. Inside, there was a big cobwebby
window in the roof and snow whirled around the black treetops and—she dropped
the apple—there was a shadow in the corner.
She
screamed, but Mama couldn’t hear with the wind howling and her howling.
But
maybe…maybe…
‘Dada?’ She ran towards the
shadow, but the ripped carpet tripped her.
‘Dada!’ Her flashlight clunked onto
the floor. She grabbed it and switched it on, but when she shone the light
around the room, Dada had gone…again.
In
the middle of the room there was a big high bed with a fat lumpy quilt. She
was so tired after the long walk, she jumped under the covers.
The
mattress was so soft, it felt like she was sinking to the bottom of the earth
on a puffy cloud.
‘Goodnight
Dada,’ she whispered. ‘Come back. Mama needs you. I need you.’
The
snow whispered and rustled through the roof window. She pulled the quilt higher
over her head so she couldn’t see the branches shaking angry fists at her.
She
was nearly asleep when she heard a voice – ‘Alima...Alima…Alima…’
Dada!
Who
else would know Mama’s name?
Dada
had come. Like Mama said.
Then
she felt it.
A
hand crept into her hand.
She
wasn’t frightened.
Dada.
His
hand felt cold. His fingers shook and curled into her palm, tickling, like when
they played games at their home in the mountains.
She
smiled in the dark, feeling safe. She’d been feeling scared for such a long
time.
Dada's
home.
Thanks for reading. Please click on the list in my sidebar with DL (Direct Link) after the name. Feel free to join the challenge!
45 comments:
Oh Denise.
Poignant, heartbreaking and too true for too many...
Hi Denise - so well written and so true for many kids and families ... a future of darkness ... if there's a future. So glad you had a happy time - cheers Hilary
Wow, what a story. So heartbreaking and even more so since it was based on truth.
I really enjoyed following your trip on Instagram! It must have been wonderful. :)
Heat breaking, and yet quite creepy. Love the atmosphere you've described.
So glad you're home, but sorry for the jet lag.
I didn't know whether to cry or shiver! Well done!
Sure set the atmosphere and then some. Children sure see things many a way. The hand still reaching out, hopefully not another ghost.
Very sad. Did her father come home a ghost or did she join him?
Great story and ambiguous. I don't know what happened to the poor girl. I'm wondering, hoping for a good ending, but it doesn't quite gel. I don't want the bad ending, but I'm afraid neither I nor little Yasmina have a choice.
Welcome back from your travels, Denise. I couldn't follow your trip on Instagram - I don't have a cell phone - but I hope to see some pictures here one day.
Welcome back, Denise!
A child's POV has a different level of clarity. This flash was poignant and disturbing in that it feels too real for too many children out in the world. I prefer ambiguous endings so this one just suited me to a t! Thanks for a great read.
Welcome back. I hope your inner clock adjust soon. What a story. It felt like their new home was Wisconsin in winter. A terrible adjustment. I'm guessing the cold hand is her dead fathers. And fear she is close to death too. Well written.
Nancy
Home at last
A sad story. It reveals the human misery taking place right before our eyes. Women and children left alone with no rights, no money, and no homes. They are the dislocated homeless with very little chance of surviving. Excellent picture of what is happening today.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat Garcia
I loved the big creepy house in the woods, you captured the setting perfectly, and the circumstances too.
But, was that Dada? Or does our imagination lead us to believe what we want to....intriguing. Glad to hear you enjoyed your travels, Denise, I envy you your travelling freedom. Liked this story, it highlights how it might feel to be on the 'other side' of the refugee/immigrant problem.
I liked the line about the spiders knitting in the corners. You described the setting very well and let us understand the events that led up to taking shelter in the old house.
Wonderful story! Thanks. :)
I loved your pics on Instagram.
What a great story! I could see you turning it into a middle grade novel. It's really good!!!
A sad story with many levels to it.
Yes Sally. There are...
Thanks Sharon. It's a chapter from a 11,000 word horror story rejected by Entangles many moons ago. I've always liked it, even if they didn't.
Holly, thanks for following on Instagram. Was fun, wasn't it? Glad you like the story!
Thanks Deborah. I like spiders knitting too!
Exactly D.G. Believe what you wish. The truth isn't pretty and I couldn't write it. I'm always attuned to the refugee 'problem'.
I loved my trip, but am still trying to recover.
Thanks Laura. Was creepy for sure.
We don't often think about the women and children who suffer because their men have tried to help the opposition. Not pretty.
Sort of...
Thanks Nancy, so do I. It was nearer Seattle than Wisconsin. Some adjustments just can't be made. A horrible story.
The ambitious ending was deliberate as the truth was too awful.
It's a 'write your own ending,' Olga. It is a horror story, so it's up to you to imagine it...
Unfortunately, it wasn't her father...
It's good to imagine the child's POV at times. Hopefully..
Both would be apt, Donna!
Atmosphere aplenty. I enjoyed the child's POV.
I enjoyed you following my trip, Julie. Yes, this is heartbreaking.
So many in darkness at the moment, Hilary. So many stories untold.
Spot on, Sue. Too true. Too sad.
Wow, what a story! Have a happy and fun-filled Halloween!
Thanks Kelly! You too!
Great story, Denise. I've been gone until yesterday, so I'm out of the loop on a lot that's been going on. Congrats on your vacation, which looked wonderful. I hope you'll tell us more about it.
Thanks for coming by after your trip, Lee. I'm out of the loop, too.
I had the same reaction and urges as Donna B. I wanted to cry and shiver. Wonderful story. And I love following you on Instagram. :)
Thanks so much Chrys. Instagram is so much fun, isn't it?
Your story is beautifully written. My take on it has a scary ending...
Spot on, Lyn. Too scary to write...Thanks for visiting.
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