A Story About Nobody
‘You’re such a nobody!’ he snarled, ‘Somebody like me doesn’t need to be married to a nobody like you!’
She lay down her knitting and looked at him over the top of her tortiseshell glasses. She hoped she wouldn’t lose her place as it was a devilishly difficult pattern.
‘My, my, aren’t we having an attack of the vapours today,’ she sighed. ‘Better watch it. At your age all this yelling and screaming can’t be good with your high blood pressure and all. I’d be a bit careful I would.’
‘You…you...loser…nobody..!’
She watched, fascinated, as his body spasmed and he clutched his heart. He crumpled at the knees like a ventriloquist’s dummy. Thump! His head was only millimetres from her feet. His eyes bulged, burning into hers, eyelashes fluttering. His hand groped for her slippered foot, fingers twitching, seeking somebody, anybody.
But nobody was there.
Her hands reached for her knitting, hoping she could pick up where she left off.
©Denise Covey, 2010
That'll teach'em.
ReplyDeleteYep, sure will..:)
ReplyDeleteVery descriptive. I could vividly see the scene. I have know a lot of knitters and have seen that aggravation when you interrupt a pattern. Another good one.
ReplyDeleteTheres just life:Not very uplifting but..:)
ReplyDeleteI love the interplay between 'somebody' and 'nobody.' Wonderful short piece. And thanks for commenting on my debut.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Very nice story. I read an Agatha Christie like it and it was just as chilling.
ReplyDeleteCD
afullnessinbrevity: Thanks..:)
ReplyDeleteClarissa: Ooh, if only I could write like Agatha Christie..:)
i love this.
ReplyDeletei could easily visualise this scene and the ending made me smile (was it supposed to, haha?)
i'm liking it...
Nomes, don't know. It's a 'write your own ending,' hee hee, whatever you want it to be..:)
ReplyDeleteHa! "But nobody was there." Great line!
ReplyDeleteI once saw a frightening movie with a ventriloquist's dummy so it was a bit scary to visualize the "Thump" of his body! :)
ReplyDeleteVery good description in this flash piece. Kudos!
Laura and Marisa: thank you for taking the time to read/comment..:)
ReplyDeleteI'm still laughing. Bastard got what he deserved!
ReplyDeletePiedmontWriter: Yeh, I agree..:)
ReplyDeleteWow, did she get her revenge or what?
ReplyDeleteShows that karma comes back at you.
Aubrie: Sure does, sometimes..:)
ReplyDeleteHa! He certainly got exactly what he asked for. Watch your words, sir.
ReplyDeleteGreat story.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteSpiffing good stuff: as always! ;)
best
F
Always good to meet another Denise! lol!
ReplyDeleteOMG this is a great story. He certainly got what he wanted. LOL Love it. Have a great Friday :)
ReplyDeleteGracie: Yeah, he'd better..:)
ReplyDeleteFrancine: Spiffing good comment as always..:)
mrsnesbitt: Hi Denise!
Thom: Yeah, you too..:)
Bet he's wishing for some body now. Any body. So hard, to be a no body.
ReplyDeleteNo, I won't let go of this pun.
This is great.
ReplyDeleteX
John: Ha ha. Nobody beats somebody sometimes..:)
ReplyDeleteSuzanne: Thanks..:)
"Her hands reached for her knitting." Interesting that you said "her hands" instead of "she." It kind of creates the sense that her hands have a mind of their own, that knitting is instinct, a way to deal with tough stuff, like a nervous habit.
ReplyDeleteloveablehomebody: Great that you saw that. Knitting is instinctive and I could just see her retreating into a world she knew..:)
ReplyDeleteFantastic! I got the underlying impression that his moaning at her was a long term issue. She'll be happier now, with just her knitting to worry about!
ReplyDeleteWell written, and welcome to #fridayflash
That was great!
ReplyDeleteRebeccah: Yeah, you can imagine the type of relationship..:)
ReplyDeleteThe words crafter: Thanks!
"But nobody was there." POW! Nice sharp flash.
ReplyDeleteJust hopping by on the crime/mystery bloghop. I liked this flash. Descriptions are very good and the bit at the end, "But nobody was there." Great.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Scribbler to Scribe
Short, sweet and KILLER!
ReplyDeleteYou rocked this one, tortoiseshell glasses and all!
Laurita: Thanks. To the point..:)
ReplyDeleteMesmerix: I haven't really posted a crime story yet but this is close. Thanks for dropping by and commenting..:)
Cathy: High praise coming from you. Thank you..:)
Karma will get you every time. :) Great story.
ReplyDeleteThanks Melissa!
ReplyDelete