ON WRITING

“It’s very easy to quit during the first ten years of writing. Nobody cares whether you write or not, and it’s very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. You can’t get fired if you don’t write, and most of the time you don’t get rewarded if you do. But don’t quit.” Andre Dubus

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Friday, 13 July 2012

#RomanticFridayWriters - Challenge No 40- GREENER PASTURES.

It's Friday!  Time for the RomanticFridayWriters challenge. This week all the participants are up for the Featured Writer award. For the FW award, the word count has been upped to 600, and there are particular guidelines set by the tricky Donna Hole:

This prompt is about long-term love; perhaps suffering a mid-life or 7 year itch crisis. The couple recognizes it is time for a change; but how drastic does the change need to be to rekindle the relationship?  Who wants the change; husband, wife, mutual?  Who would suffer the most from either a break up, or from the status quo?

For older lovers:  perhaps this is the retirement of one or both, or one is suffering a physical or mental health change.
For mid-life lovers:  perhaps this could be an empty nest syndrome, or a male mid-life crisis, or female menopause.
For younger lovers:  perhaps there is an unexpected pregnancy to upset the balance; or a career change –promotion or firing or company move; or the sheer boredom of routine.

What we want to see is when the romance loses it shine, and the eye wanders, but what our disgruntled lover finds so appealing in another is the qualities that the old flame has lost.  Does he/she realize this on their own?  Or does the jilted lover or new love point it out?  How is the situation resolved?  Or is it too late?


 I'm continuing my saga of Geffron and Marsilia. Since my first story, I've added the characters Luigunia and now James...I hope you enjoy my story. You might think it's a bit abrupt at times - this story wanted to be 1,000 words so I had to edit much of the life out of it...


Greener Pastures



Marsilia’s stomach clenched. She patted it gently.

Pregnant.

Ironic.

She and Geffron had been trying for three years. But for some time they both knew they were relying on a baby to save their marriage. Was it too late?

God! Why did they get married?

She’d come to London four years ago for her modelling career, not marriage.  But she’d believed in Geffron’s love – he’d followed her to Italy to win her back after his fling with Luiginia. How he’d charmed her Nonna and Madre. She’d gone along with the romantic idea of a medieval hill-town wedding, with the whole village celebrating. Craziest three days of her life.

Back to London. Once she wore Geffron’s ring he tried to smother her with his old-fashioned expectations.

Their marriage was over.

But what about the baby?

Out of bed my girl. Can’t lie here all day.

What will I do? The immediate answer was provided as she dashed to the bathroom, vomiting last night’s crackers. God! Was this being pregnant?

Washing her mouth, Marsilia stumbled to the fridge. Limp lettuce, Diet Coke and Geffron’s herring fillets. Stomach spasm.  

Ring!

‘Who is it?’ Marsilia snapped.

‘James. You’re late.’ Bollocks! She was to be at the blinking Canary Wharf.

‘It’s nine-thirty. Old Davey will have my head.’

‘I know. I know –‘.

‘Just get here sweetheart. I’ll cover with Davey. I’ll use Luigina. But hurry. I need shots of you together. The light’s perfect.’

Si, si.’

Dry crackers. Quick shower.

Acne skinny black jeans, Kain silk tank, Alexander McQueen black wool peplum, Jimmy Choo pumps, Row oversized sunglasses, Marni leather shoulder bag. Aha, Etro crystal-gold necklace in bag, just in case.     

In the tube, she lurched from one stinky underarm to the next, her stomach heaving.  When she reached Canary Wharf station she was feeling foul.

Buon giorno cara! Come va?’ Luigiana chirped as Marsilia rushed in.

The shoot was exhausting. Whose idea was it to use the financial heart of London as a location? She shrugged and strutted her stuff in front of the Canary Wharf Tower. Even though a weak sun was shining, she was shivering. The spacey short skirts and skimpy tops weren’t helping. Be easier doing covers for Parenting Today.

Luiginia cheered her. The pair of them giggled and wiggled in front of the skyscrapers. They were the Italian IT girls. I’ll no longer be an IT, Marsilia thought, I’ll be OUT.

Shoot over, Marsilia lingered.

‘Hey, Luiginia, wanna grab a bite?’

‘Sorry, got that night shoot at the Eye, remember?’

‘Crap. Well buon giorno.’

Marsilia was trudging towards the tube, when tyres screeched beside her.

‘Marsilia!’ James and his yellow Ferrari.

‘What’s up James? No chick to pick up?’

‘You’re the only chick I want. Food?…at…Amata.’

‘Amata?’

‘Yep, just googled it. New Italian place, Manchester Road?’

‘Whatever. I’m starving.’

‘What’s new? Hop in.’

‘Great idea,’ she said as she looped her gold necklace around her cheating neck.

 ***

Marsilia shoveled in forkfuls of delicious seafood pasta, smacking her lips in delight.

‘Amazes me how you stay stick thin. More?’

‘Can I?’

Sated, Marsilia sipped her very good Borolo. Only then did she catch the look in James’ eye. Whoops! ‘Do I have tomato smear on my face?’

‘Marsilia, you’re beautiful, outrageous and I’m way over my head. I’ve kept my hands off you till now, but I’m not sure I can any longer.’

 ‘I like Italian red wine, Jimmy Choos and American blues, how about you?’

‘I like fast cars, U2 and I love you.’

‘James, it’s too late.’

She imagined Geffron’s dinner – perfectly poached salmon, fine Pinot Blanc and wanted to scream.


 ©DeniseCovey2012

WORD COUNT - 600
FCA

Girl pics: modelmayhem.com





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34 comments:

  1. Ok, no internet was definitely good for you. Look, you're first on the linky :)

    Loved Marsilia's character. And the back and forth about Greffon's qualities. And I can see just in the few lines at dinner how James has some of those same "smothering" qualities that Greffon has. And they both seem like exciting play boys - till you get to know them.

    Such a fun excerpt Denise. Glad you were able to meet the word count :)

    Uhm, I'm off to go write - I mean polish - mine.

    .......dhole

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    1. Wasn't easy following all the guidelines but it was worth it. I'm really enjoying these characters. D.

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  2. Ooh, what is she gonna do? Poor lady!

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    1. Who knows Trisha? She'll figure something out. D.

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  3. I think that's how every pregnant woman feels!! Crackers, quick shower and life goes on.. LOL! I really like the plot too.. makes you question the baby's paternity.. I like your subtle clues too.. the part about her cheating neck and then telling James it's too late..

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    1. Thank you Crystal. Glad you picked up on those clues. D,

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  4. Stinky arm pits on the Tube - you've obviously been there!

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    1. Oh yeah. I've never spent so much time underground as on the London Underground. Not a pleasant experience. D.

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  5. Hmmmm...deep grooves here between the lines. I love your characterization and the plot. Hope you continue the story, Denise. Would like to see where it leads.

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  6. Forgot the add...the london landmarks too...great detail.

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  7. That was great! Maybe I'll join in next time.

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    1. That would be awesome. New entries always welcome. D.

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  8. Wow.Amazing narration .amazing use of pictures.
    Great detailing

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    1. Thanks Rahul, newest member of RFW. I appreciate your comments. D.

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  9. Wow, Sis. What can I say? Beautifully written. And the plot -- fantastic. What you do in 600 words!!

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    1. Hi Ann! Thanks! There's a lot more to this story. I think I'll put all 3 episodes together, add some more, and I'll have quite the short story. D. Thanks for visiting. ((((hugs))) to you and Jen!

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. Interesting piece with lots of details, and Marsilia's a great character. Makes me wonder about the before and after.

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    1. Well Medeia the before is easy - that's in the previous RFW posts. The after? Don't know yet. D.

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  12. loved the characterisation Marsilia and the descriptions of her predicament.

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  13. Hi Denise, it's great to catch up with Marsilia and Geffron. So they got married and now she wants out? Interesting. Will it work out with James? I'd like to know.

    Great use of the theme. Even with the editing to keep to the word count, I think you still delivered. Well done. :)

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    1. Thanks Kiru. I don't know if it'll work out with James either. D.

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  14. Hmmm...who's baby is it? I love the humor that you put in this with Parenting Today. ha ha! James sounds like a lot of fun.

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    1. Ah I love these guys. Not sure about James. Is he a bit of a lothario? D.

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  15. Dear Denise,
    When I read your work, I am just so impressed with the talent behind the story line. Great job my friend. I have the same question as Heather....who's baby is it???

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    1. Thank you Andy. There's a lot going on here that I couldn't fit in, and even I'm not sure whose baby it is. I think Geffron's. D

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  16. Boy, you can tell you're having a blast with these characters, Denise! I'm amazed at what you've given us in 600 words. :))

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    1. Thank you Candilynn. I loved yours too. D

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  17. Hi Denise,

    its my first time to catch up in here,i really enjoyed it
    i liked the unknown end,where it makes the mind wonder and keep putting endless scenarios,thanks for such share

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    1. Thank you for visiting, Radwa. I hope you were able to understand it. It is pretty open. There's a lot of questions. D,

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  18. Monday, July 16th, 2012
    Dear Denise,
    First, thank you so much for linking my post after the linky was closed.
    Insteresting story about Marsilia and Geffron, that really fits the theme well. But I think I need to go back and read the first part to understand it better.

    There is a lot going on here where I am now; enough drama and emotional tension for several stories, but I have not had time to even make notes in a journal.

    I wrote my story with kids all around me and had no time to change it.

    Best wishes,
    Anna

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    1. Hello Anna, you do have your hands full.I hope you are okay. Getting time to write must be difficult when you have little kids. You do well! D

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