ON WRITING

“It’s very easy to quit during the first ten years of writing. Nobody cares whether you write or not, and it’s very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. You can’t get fired if you don’t write, and most of the time you don’t get rewarded if you do. But don’t quit.” Andre Dubus

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Thursday, 3 May 2012

#RomanticFridayWriters - Challenge No 35 - May 4 - Response to Image

RomanticFridayWriters is back! During the A-Z Challenge we have been posting flash fiction nearly every day. Now we're back to our usual format - posting to a prompt each fortnight on a Friday. This time the rules are:

  • You must respond to the stimulus in some way.
  • From the image, choose who will be your viewpoint character.
  • Place your character/s in one of the following settings:
              * a nightclub
              * last day of high school/college
              * at a carnival/festival
              * a private party
              * an exotic island
              * audition for a part in the latest Romeo + Juliet production
              * a combination of two or more of the above settings...


My viewpoint character is the girl on the right. Her best friend has her back to us.
They are celebrating the last day of high school.


Here is my story:

By the Light of the Silvery Moon

Zora reached for Michelle’s hand. It was clammy, even in the freezing night air. The trees pressed closer. Animal sounds sent icy shivers down her spine.

‘Michelle ,’ she whispered, ‘what are we doing here?’

‘Having an adventure. You wanted an adventure on your last day of high school!’

‘This isn’t what I had in mind. I thought you’d finagle us into your brother’s nightclub.’

‘This s’much funner than alchopoops and ecstasy. This forest is alive.’

‘Creepy alive. I feel like we’re being watched, like there’s eyes in those trees. Let’s go back.’

‘Ssh.’

‘What?’

‘They’re coming.’

‘Who? Ghosts?’ Zora was terrified. Did ghosts make sounds? Is that what she could hear behind those trees?

‘See that up ahead? That light?’ Over there!’

Nothing had prepared Zora for the beauty of the soft grasses encircled by the giant kauri trees, the silvery moonlight dancing in the centre of the glade. She could imagine fairies gliding above the branches.

‘It’s beautiful,  Michie.’

‘Better than strobe lighting in Rob’s club?’

‘Much. But I don’t feel like dancing here.’

‘I do.’  Michelle stepped into the circle of light. Zora watched, awestruck, as her friend transformed.  Michelle, who’d never been beautiful, became beautiful. Her tight white dress took on a silver sparkle as she held out her arms and spun round and round in ever-increasing circles. The bracelets she wore became magical things, glinting with light. Her frizzy red wig was afire in moonbeams. Her best friend, her plain  Michelle, had become a night creature.

Michelle jerked her head back as if to drink of the moon’s elixir. Her movements became disjointed, she was a puppet loose of her strings.

‘Come Zora! Dance with me! I’m drunk with the…hic…night spirits.’ She drew a tiny silver flask from her pocket, tipping the contents down her throat.

Zora stepped back, confused. She thought her friend had given up the drink.

‘Come Zor! Don’t reject me like everyone else. Share this with me, my best, my dearest friend.’

‘What about Emerson?’

‘He dumped me. He said he had enough trouble at home. He compared me to that bunch of Irish alcoholics he lives with.’

‘Come home,  Michelle.’

‘No…dancing in the moonlight. Who will dance with me?’ she yelled into the night.

‘I will.’ The voice was deep and true and came from beyond the trees.

‘Emerson. Wha’ - you doing here?’

‘I’m sorry  Elle. Let’s work through this together.’

Michelle collapsed into a heap in the centre of the soft grass. Emerson was beside her, whispering words for her ears only.

The wistful moon dipped behind a cloud.

‘Zora.’

She jumped. ‘Gavin? How did you - ?’

‘Emerson brought me. This is their special spot.’

'It's magical.'
'Want to feel some magic with me?’

‘Always.’

As Gavin took her into his arms, the warmth was a silken blanket thrown lightly over their bodies

‘This is the way to celebrate the last day of high school,’ she whispered. 



 ©DeniseCovey2012
Words 490





24 comments:

  1. Interesting story. It sounds like it will be a memorable night, for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm, quite possibly Golden. Thanks for commenting. I was beginning to think it must be horrendous. Never been up this many hours without a comment. Must be A-Z fatigue, lol!

      Denise

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  2. A magical night! So much tension in the air. The reader can feel the protagonist's apprehension; anything can happen here!
    It's a relatively short text too. You didn't use all of the 600 words. But you have mixed information in the dialog with the description of how Michelle dances in the moonlight and finally is surprised by her boyfriend Emerson who wants to make up with her. Happy end!

    Thank you for your kind comments on my post! I was worried that there was not enough romance in it. But William Shakespeare provided that part!

    I think it's nice to be back.
    Take care!
    Anna
    For the benefit of other readers:
    Anna's RFW challenge 35 - 'What's in a Name?'

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  3. Dear Denise,
    I have taken Linda's advice to heart and written a sequel on the same post, just farther down. If you have the time and inclination you are welcome to make a return visit.
    Best wishes,
    Anna

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Anna. Yeah, I was well under the 600 but that's all I needed. I enjoyed your story and the sequel. Great! D.

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  4. Hi,

    Lot of toying with the senses and emotions here, and a rather fun scenario... Nicely crafted and obligatory element of romance! ;)

    best
    F

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    1. Thanks F. I had fun with this as you can probably tell. D.

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  5. I like it! (I'm a woman of few words this week due to my miserable cold I'm having trouble shaking. I did go to the doc, though, and got an antibiotic, so maybe I'll feel like blogging NEXT week.)
    Ann Best, Memoir Author

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    Replies
    1. Hey sis, I'm sorry to hear you're still not feeling well. I hope those antibiotics work, and fast. But blogging can wait. Health first. D.

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  6. Ah, the HEA :) This was magic; I loved the plain-jane transformation in the moonlight dance. Sometimes the right place and mood can make any setting a faerie ring.

    I really liked that your main character wasn't the focus of the scene. Michelle was beautifully portrayed through Zora's eyes, and Zora's insights and adoration made Zora and intriguing, likeable character. A I was completely caught up in the special moment.

    Way to make my heart flutter :)

    .......dhole

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked it friend. I'm glad your heart got up a bit of a flutter. D.

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  7. It's magical and makes me wish to live in such a magical place.

    by the way, I'm a new blogger from the Philippines. I came from Andy's "Blog hop Saturday.

    I hope you can visit my blog too :)

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    Replies
    1. Hello Color and Grays. Nice to meet you. I'll be over to visit. D.

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  8. That really drew me in. Nicely done. Thanks for visiting and following my blog. I'm following you too.

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  9. Light, magical, sensual and provocative. A very nice relationship between the two girls. I could have used a little lead-in for Gavin--it kind of stopped me for a moment. Other than that, very sweet.

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    Replies
    1. I agree about Gavin. I had the words. I'll do some more work on it.

      Denise

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  10. Hi Denise
    I think your writing has greatly improved. I loved the faerie ring, you know I would and your characters are delightful.
    Nancy

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  11. Hello Denise.
    I have to agree with the others. It's definitely magical. I could close my eyes and envision the twirling and getting lost feel. I really like how Michelle transformed into the beautiful swan. Very nice.

    Thanks for linking up to Blog Hop Saturday! too. I really appreciated the support.

    Last Dance

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    Replies
    1. Thanks as always Andy. Your blog hop is going to be fun.

      Denise

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  12. Hi Denise,

    It was fun reading this and it had a nice surprise at the end!

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  13. Thoroughly enjoyable, Denise. It flowed well and I could actually picture the friends' romp in the woods. And I love how you incorporated romance in the end too. Well done.

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