ON WRITING

“It’s very easy to quit during the first ten years of writing. Nobody cares whether you write or not, and it’s very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. You can’t get fired if you don’t write, and most of the time you don’t get rewarded if you do. But don’t quit.” Andre Dubus

Friday, 27 May 2011

#Romantic Friday Writers - Third Challenge - Glitz and Glamour theme - my story, Satin Sheets.


Well blogger is playing up again so I know even if you are reading this you may not be able to comment. Let's hope blogger gets its act together soon! I've been reading your posts but only manage to get a couple of comments in a day before it crashes on me...I am posting my story while I can...

 Here is my third story for the Romantic Friday Writers challenge. Thank you to all the participants and all the readers. The standard has been high and we are really letting our imaginations run riot with the themes. So far we've had many 'Dire Moments', many sad stories for 'Lost', and this week, maybe there'll be some over-the-top glitz and glamour, or will these flash fiction writers tease us? I hope you will read and critique my story then read many others. Find them @ #RomanticFridayWriters on twitter, in your blogger roll or by clicking on the badge in my sidebare for the linky of participants...


SATIN SHEETS

Satin sheets to lie on


Satin pillows to cry on

Still I’m not happy can’t you see?


‘Turn that maudlin rubbish off!’

‘What’s wrong with country music?’

‘It shows too much about you, where you come from.’

‘That’s the meanest thing you’ve said to me for, like, ten whole minutes.’

‘Only ten? Well get over it. Enough of your teary eyes and dreamy looks. We’ve got a party to get to.’

‘I’m not going!’

‘You are. I brought you something to wear.’

‘Again?’

‘Well we can’t have anyone outshining you my dear. Lady Peekles will be there.’

‘And I care?’

‘Well, time you started to care about what I do. What keeps you in satin and diamonds.’

‘I don’t care about those things.’

‘Oh but you do. They suit you. You’re the perfect model for the fine things of life, little Glamourpuss.’

‘Is that the only reason you married me Antoine?’

‘And to save you from that long-haired, guitar-strumming cowboy.’

‘Randolph?’

‘You’re still pining for him. Ha! As if he could ever afford to deck you out in the best. You’d still be wearing your torn jeans and scuffed boots.’

‘What was wrong with them? I can remember you walking into the bar and heading straight for me, torn jeans and all. You couldn’t keep your hands off my torn jeans.’

‘And Rudolph didn’t like it, did he? Not one bit. But what could he do? He was too busy strutting his stuff. All that wailing country music. All those women falling at his feet. You stood out from the crowd.’

‘So did you with your business suit and polished shoes.’

‘You forgot the bow tie.’

Antoine reached into the pocket of his tux and drew out an exquisite red satin box tied with a white ribbon scrolled in gold with the Cartier logo.

‘Open it.’

Angelique reached for the box. It sprung open to reveal a gorgeous necklace of sparkling diamonds. The whole room took on a fairytale cast. She looked at Antoine and was stunned to see the adoration in his eyes. Did he really love her then? Was all his bluster just because he couldn’t convey his love except by offering her glitz and glamour?

A tear rolled down her cheek.

‘Don’t cry darling,’ he said tenderly.

‘Why? Or I’ll spoil my perfect make up? Offend Lady Peekles?’

He stepped close, lifted her blonde curls and gently hung the diamonds around her neck.

‘No, my love, you’ll terrify me that you’re really going to leave me, go back to that guitar-strumming poseur.’

‘Lead me to your Cadillac, Antoine. I’m not going anywhere but to this party.’
‘But I know how that song ends. You play it often enough.’

‘How’s it end?’

‘You want me to set you free.’

‘And walk away from all this?’ She swished her red satin skirt, reached for her white fake-fur stole and clattered across the room in her black satin party shoes. ‘Why would I want to be set free? To go and starve with Randolph?’

But Antoine had heard the catch in her voice.

She was leaving him…though he’d given her everything that money could buy.


I hope you liked my story. When I thought of the theme, 'Satin Sheets' by Dolly Parton got into my brain and wouldn't leave until I'd written a story. Those of you who know the song will get a few more of the innuendoes. I appreciate you reading and commenting.

And congratulations to J.L. Campbell who was honoured as our first Featured Writer for her 'Dire Moment' entry, and to Roland D Yeomans, who is the Featured Writer for the second theme, 'Lost.' You will see this badge on their blogs:



32 comments:

  1. Hello Denise, thank you for another excellent tale!

    I almost feel sorry for these two.
    Antoine thought he could buy Angelique's love with his expensive gifts and money. He sees all this material stuff as just a way to keep her.

    Angelique is obviously flattered and enjoys the high life at first, but I can sense the glitz and glamour of it all is wearing thin. She's a down-to-earth girl and obviously longs to return to that lifestyle.

    When all's said and done, money can buy material things, but it can't buy you love.

    Brilliant!

    (I confess...I did have to look up the DP song on YouTube)

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  2. Hey Andy. Thanks for the comment. They are rare these days as google plays up. Not sure if this answer will show up so I'll keep it short.

    Glad you enjoyed it and your take on it is pretty spot on. I don't know whether she will leave or not. I think she likes her present life.

    Denise<3

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  3. Great story! I just love that song.

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  4. Ditto what Andy says....this is lovely, I felt all goosebumpy reading it as I really felt her inner grief. I believe she does want to starve with Randolph but has sold her soul....for now.

    Mine's up tomorrow (UK time) but I have to confess it's as daft as pink chickens.

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  5. Mama Zen: Welcome! Thank you!

    Margot: Looking forward to pink chickens, ha ha..

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  6. Poor Antoine, he's going down. And he's buying, I mean, trying so hard. Fun piece.

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  7. This is delightful, Denise. I can't think of anything to critique. The writing is "lean and compelling." This is what I like in stories, and you did it!

    Did you get my email?

    What IS wrong with Blogger? Others say there are still glitches. I still have one on mine. I did start that WordPress blog that you commented on way back. I'm still thinking about setting it up. A WP blogger I'm following is encouraging this, and said he'd help if I needed help. I'm also trying to get all my Blogger friends' emails so in case something does happen to Blogger, I won't lose everyone. Of course a lot of us are on Facebook and Twitter so we can connect there.

    I hope your book arrives soon. The publisher yesterday said they're trying to get the orders filled. (I think I told you this in an email, I think. My brain's getting a bit cluttered from all of this!)

    This is crazy. But minor really when you think about everyone who's suffering from tornadoes. Ever morning I count my blessings!

    Just relax and have a good weekend!
    Ann Best, Memoir Author

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  8. Beverly: Yes he is...

    Ann: Will get back to you. I'm commenting while I can between work etc. in case I can't next time, grrrrrr.

    Denise<3

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  9. Sounds to me like she is a down to earth girl. Will she leave...don't know. The glamor and glitz might have got her but only love will keep her. I hope he figures that out quickly or she is gone.

    Pamela Jo
    http://theresjustlifeyaliveit.blogspot.com

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  10. Sometimes you get what you ask for, but not what you want. Then, other times you get what you want, but not what you need.

    Diamonds are pretty -- but cold and hard -- like the lives of these two it seems. Great job of drawing us in. Roland

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  11. PJ: Thanks for coming by. Seems ages. Very true.

    Roland: You've got that right. Diamonds are a cold consolation prize, but she likes them...

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  12. Nicely done Denise. I've got to say that I took a lot of the descriptiveness from mine to get lower than 400 words and yet i'm sure you have a lot more than 400. Does that rule not count anymore or is it just a guideline?
    I'll never be able to write romance but I'm sure I'll get better. Next weeks I remember is going to fry my head! :-D

    Andy

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  13. Good story!

    I'm having commenting blues, too. If the blog goes to a pop up box, I can comment, if not--no go. Bummer. I think yours will go.

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  14. Maybe I'm a cynic but I think she'll stay with Antoine until it's too late, all the while thinking 'I'll leave after the next present...or the next...or the next...'

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  15. Nice set up on this scene. Woven expertly with excellent description and pace.

    This excerpt hits home. Someone special to me once left me for an Antoine. I wonder if she is as miserable as Angelique. I never heard from her again.

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  16. Great story, really enjoyed the read! Thanks
    Lx

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  17. andymac: Woops, you are right. I wrote it in word then brought it in to post and made changes. I didn't realise I'd gone over by 100 words, my bad. Yes, the guidelines do apply still. I'll make sure I don't do that again!

    Zan: So glad you made it.

    Sarah: Yeah, I'm with you.

    Michael: Sorry to hear that but the Antoines in life have a certain lure for some. Angelique is going to be miserable with only glitz and glamour for company.

    Laura: Thanks.

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  18. L'Aussie, this might sound kind of bad, I don't know, but your story kind of made me laugh, especially how she left him at the end after all that crap he was talking.

    Someimes neither the glitz or the glamour is worth it.

    ~Ms.Queenly

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  19. From Antoine's point of view, this sounds like despite everything, money can't buy me love. Though feisty in his own way, you gotta feel sorry for him.

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  20. Queenie: Well, how do you know she left him at the end?

    Joy: I feel sorry for anyone caught in this sort of relationship.

    Denise<3

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  21. Finally, I can comment! I loved this story, so many different elements and potential back stories to it. It seems as though neither character is sure of their wants, needs, or motives - the physical trappings of life are getting in the way, as they sometimes do.

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  22. Denise, what a great story! Beautifully done.

    I keep hearing about Blogger issues, but I haven't experienced them yet. I think I may have just jinxed myself.

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  23. Denise I have been a bad girl, and ignored my friends. *hangs head in shame* Just thought you would like to know I finally wrote an other story for Fridayflash if you want to check it out.

    Pamela Jo
    http://theresjustlifeyaliveit.blogspot.com

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  24. Li: Seems I can comment on pop up boxes and now have worked out drop down. See my comment on RFW if interested! You've sussed out the story well.

    Julie: You're one lucky gal!

    PJ: Welcome back hon! I'll be over to read #FF.

    Denise<3

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  25. OOh the power of love over glitz and glamour. Nice one! :O)

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  26. Madeleine: Thank you. Which will win?

    Dx

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  27. Hi,

    Nice twist!

    If I could have a word in Angelique's ear it would be to say: stay with Antoine, and have Randolph as bit on the side! ;)

    best
    F

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  28. Thanks, Denise, now I can't get that song out of my head!

    Excellent pacing in the story from beginning to end & I like the surprise. Guess she preferred someone else.

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  29. Francine: Wicked woman! I'll tell her but will she listen?

    Lisa: That song is like that! Thanks for comment.

    D x

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  30. Wow! What a story. Will she really leave him? Want to read more.

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  31. Who knows Nas? Would you?

    D x

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  32. Aww, that's so sad! Good, but sad :-)

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