ON WRITING

“It’s very easy to quit during the first ten years of writing. Nobody cares whether you write or not, and it’s very hard to write when nobody cares one way or the other. You can’t get fired if you don’t write, and most of the time you don’t get rewarded if you do. But don’t quit.” Andre Dubus

Friday, 13 August 2010

#fridayflash - A Story About Nobody

A Story About Nobody

‘You’re such a nobody!’ he snarled, ‘Somebody like me doesn’t need to be married to a nobody like you!’
She lay down her knitting and looked at him over the top of her tortiseshell glasses. She hoped she wouldn’t lose her place as it was a devilishly difficult pattern.
‘My, my, aren’t we having an attack of the vapours today,’ she sighed. ‘Better watch it. At your age all this yelling and screaming can’t be good with your high blood pressure and all. I’d be a bit careful I would.’
‘You…you...loser…nobody..!’
She watched, fascinated, as his body spasmed and he clutched his heart. He crumpled at the knees like a ventriloquist’s dummy. Thump! His head was only millimetres from her feet. His eyes bulged, burning into hers, eyelashes fluttering. His hand groped for her slippered foot, fingers twitching, seeking somebody, anybody.
But nobody was there.
Her hands reached for her knitting, hoping she could pick up where she left off.


©Denise Covey, 2010



35 comments:

  1. Very descriptive. I could vividly see the scene. I have know a lot of knitters and have seen that aggravation when you interrupt a pattern. Another good one.

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  2. Theres just life:Not very uplifting but..:)

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  3. I love the interplay between 'somebody' and 'nobody.' Wonderful short piece. And thanks for commenting on my debut.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  4. Very nice story. I read an Agatha Christie like it and it was just as chilling.

    CD

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  5. afullnessinbrevity: Thanks..:)

    Clarissa: Ooh, if only I could write like Agatha Christie..:)

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  6. i love this.

    i could easily visualise this scene and the ending made me smile (was it supposed to, haha?)

    i'm liking it...

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  7. Nomes, don't know. It's a 'write your own ending,' hee hee, whatever you want it to be..:)

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  8. Ha! "But nobody was there." Great line!

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  9. I once saw a frightening movie with a ventriloquist's dummy so it was a bit scary to visualize the "Thump" of his body! :)

    Very good description in this flash piece. Kudos!

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  10. Laura and Marisa: thank you for taking the time to read/comment..:)

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  11. I'm still laughing. Bastard got what he deserved!

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  12. PiedmontWriter: Yeh, I agree..:)

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  13. Wow, did she get her revenge or what?

    Shows that karma comes back at you.

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  14. Aubrie: Sure does, sometimes..:)

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  15. Ha! He certainly got exactly what he asked for. Watch your words, sir.

    Great story.

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  16. Hi,

    Spiffing good stuff: as always! ;)

    best
    F

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  17. Always good to meet another Denise! lol!

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  18. OMG this is a great story. He certainly got what he wanted. LOL Love it. Have a great Friday :)

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  19. Gracie: Yeah, he'd better..:)

    Francine: Spiffing good comment as always..:)

    mrsnesbitt: Hi Denise!

    Thom: Yeah, you too..:)

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  20. Bet he's wishing for some body now. Any body. So hard, to be a no body.

    No, I won't let go of this pun.

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  21. John: Ha ha. Nobody beats somebody sometimes..:)

    Suzanne: Thanks..:)

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  22. "Her hands reached for her knitting." Interesting that you said "her hands" instead of "she." It kind of creates the sense that her hands have a mind of their own, that knitting is instinct, a way to deal with tough stuff, like a nervous habit.

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  23. loveablehomebody: Great that you saw that. Knitting is instinctive and I could just see her retreating into a world she knew..:)

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  24. Fantastic! I got the underlying impression that his moaning at her was a long term issue. She'll be happier now, with just her knitting to worry about!

    Well written, and welcome to #fridayflash

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  25. Rebeccah: Yeah, you can imagine the type of relationship..:)

    The words crafter: Thanks!

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  26. "But nobody was there." POW! Nice sharp flash.

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  27. Just hopping by on the crime/mystery bloghop. I liked this flash. Descriptions are very good and the bit at the end, "But nobody was there." Great.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Scribbler to Scribe

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  28. Short, sweet and KILLER!
    You rocked this one, tortoiseshell glasses and all!

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  29. Laurita: Thanks. To the point..:)

    Mesmerix: I haven't really posted a crime story yet but this is close. Thanks for dropping by and commenting..:)

    Cathy: High praise coming from you. Thank you..:)

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  30. Karma will get you every time. :) Great story.

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